I’m way behind, so I’m going to offer some scattershot snark about stuff that happened last week. Scattershot snark is what I do best, after all.
PBJ’s Excellent Adventure: The pinhead who sporadically governs my state was in the news last week. PBJ has gotten to the point where he craves any publicity including bad publicity. It’s a good thing, that’s all he got.
First, he went to Europe, which is something Oval One wannabes do. It’s supposed to make them look statesmanlike but PBJ chose to follow in the path of Willard Mittbot Romney and make a total ass of himself. He peddled the discredited, even at Fox News, line about Muslim no go zones in the UK and EU. PBJ went to woody old London hoping to meet with some senior Tory pols but they all hid in tube tunnels after he insisted on being the kookiest kook in cloud cuckoo land. That in a wingnut shell is his campaign strategy. I remember when he ran as a technocrat. Those days are long gone.
Second, he held what I call alternately PBJ’s Folly or Prayerpalooza at the Pete Maravich Assembly Center (PMAC) on the LSU campus in Red Stick. The characters invited to this zany event included a preacher who claims the ability to raise the dead. That’s an alarming thought, given overpopulation and all the damn fool wingers already running around the planet. Do we really want to resurrect Ronnie and Maggie?
You know a putative campaign is in deep shit and sinking fast when it has an event modeled after one thrown in 2011 by Former Texas Governor Oops. They also scheduled on the same day as Steve King’s Iowa clown show and the Koch Brothers public ass kissing event. PBJ’s people are both delusional and not ready for prime time, speaking of which:
There They Go Again: Why does the GOP keep trotting out its “rising stars” to answer the SOTU. I recall when they’d have their Congressional leaders or folks like Ronald Reagan do so. The list of embarrassments stretches back to Bobby Jindal being compared to Kenneth the Page on 30 Rock and included Marco Rubio’s infamous water bottle reach to cure his bad case of dry mouth. I think the hog castrating chick, Joni Ernst, topped them all. Bread bags on your feet? Really, Senator? I wonder bread if they carried it to extremes in even poorer areas: “We were so poor that we used hot dog bun bags as condoms.” It’s just as, uh, plausible and even sillier.
More catching up after the break.
Billionaire Family Blues: You’ve all heard about those stories but, unless you’re one of our NOLA readers. may not have heard about the Benson family feud. The only reason anyone cares is that they own the Saints, the Pelicans, the local Fox station, as well as a raft of car dealerships in San Antone, but we’re not going there. I’ll leave that to the late Doug Sahm.
In a nutshell, Tom Benson is disinheriting his first family in favor of his third wife. It’s a classic family squabble, so classic that’s almost a cliche and the local sporting press is resorting to sexist cliches because it’s easier than thinking. It’s not about sports, it’s about family and money and the highly paid hired guns at the Saints should stay out of it, including Drew Brees who’s a genius on the field and a total doofus off it.
My favorite detail from the lawsuit filed by Rita Benson Leblanc, her mother, and brother is this nugget:
Upon information and belief, under the apparent supervision of Gayle, the diet of Tom Benson has drastically deteriorated, with him rarely consuming full, nutritious meals, but instead, for some reason, subsisting on candy, ice cream, sodas, and red wine.
I hear that Baby Ruths go well with Merlot. I also like a nice Cabernet with vanilla ice cream…
AHS Freak Show Finale Flops: I originally considered doing a full recap but I don’t think the finale merits one. Like so much else about this sporadically brilliant show, the finale was a mixed bag of nuts or is that freaks? The first half of the episode was excellent: Dandy going full metal bonkers and gunning down a flock of freaks. His death in Hardeen’s Chinese Water Torture Chamber was appropriately flamboyant. They forgot, however, to play any Cole Porter.
The second half was preposterous and an enormous let down. There is no way on God’s green earth that Elsa would have ever had a successful teevee show, especially *without* her freaks. She was a bad Marlene Dietrich impersonator in need of coaching by Madeline Kahn. The Edward Mandrake twist was okay but poorly executed. I’ll watch the next installment of AHS but I’m much more interested in two other FX shows: The Americans and Justified. Hmm, I wonder if Raylan and Boyd wore bread bags on their feet when they were young hillbillies? I think they had more sense than to use them as condoms. Dewey Crowe, on the other hand, may have done so…
I thought I’d write about Tom Brady’s balls today, but I have things to do, places to go, and people to see. Krewe du Vieux has eaten my month and it’s gnawing on my leg right now.
That is all.