T-Paw, Ohio Rep. Bob Whole Latta Love and PBJ.BLADE/DAVE ZAPOTOSKY
President Obama is being stalked on his bus tour of the Buckeye and Keystone States by 2 potential Romney running mates: Tim Pawlenty and Bobby Jindal. I think the plan is to bore them into submission since T-Paw and PBJ are as boring as Mitt Offshore himself. They could, in fact, call their tour through Palookaville, the Snoozeville Express.
When I heard about the Dullsville Express tour, for some reason I thought of Jack Kerouac’s beatnik opus On The Road. For some reason? Nah, that’s the way my feverish gray cells work: weird tangents joined together in an ungainly whole. I had an internal debate over the deeply silly question of who was Sal Paradise/Jack Kerouac and who was Dean Moriartry/Neal Cassidy. Neither T-Paw nor PBJ is very literary or much of babe magnet. I decided in the end that T-Paw had to be Dean/Neal because PBJ is too butt ugly to be even remotely Dean/Neal-like. PBJ does speak way too fast and rattle off enough inane facts for Truman Capote’s quote about Kerouac’s writing style to fit: “That’s not writing, that’s typing.”
I gotta say that Mitt Offshore’s Veep search is as dull as the putative nominee himself. PBJ is probably a millimeter less dull than T-Paw since he’s Indian-American but the fast talking whiz kid routine that has worked so mysteriously well in the Gret Stet won’t cut it on the national stage. Plus, PBJ is a cold fish, which means he can’t help “humanize” the stiff and awkward Romney. T-Paw could help with the “Mitt is not a robot” campaign since, by winger standards, he’s seems to be a fairly nice guy.
Finally, is it just me or is anyone else amazed by how inept the Romney campaign has been since the ACA judgment? I expect them to lie and spin but past GOP campaigns have done it well and Romney’s peeps have dropped the ball more than Reggie Bush on a wet gridiron. It’s particularly weird since Mitt Offshore has been running for President full-time since 2007. One would think that they’d know how to do it by now. Perhaps they should outsource the spin doctoring to Belize or something. That would mean that Mitt finally belizes in something…<groan/rim shot>
Now for a wee musical selection: