Beef: It’s what’s for news

(Who the hell is Taylor Swift? Yeah, I had to look it up. I’m old. Here’s a video so you don’t have to waste your time surfing MTV or sites that swear they have real porn shots of her. You’re welcome.) Thank God for the 8,356,232,346,233 video sites, news sites, blogs, newspapers, magazines and other media outlets that breathlessly covered the Kanye/Taylor Swift beef that stole the show at the VMAs this week. Had it not been for these fine pinnacles of journalistic integrity, I’d have never been able to fully understand what it must have been like for a … Continue reading Beef: It’s what’s for news

More Malakatude From The King Of Nothing

Congressman Steve King’s mouth is the gift that keeps on giving. He’s once again in a tizzy aboutgay marriage and socialism: If there’s a push for a socialist society where the foundations of individual rights and liberties are undermined and everybody is thrown together living collectively off one pot of resources earned by everyone, this is one of the goals they have to go to, same sex marriage, because it has to plow through marriage in order to get to their goal. They want public affirmation, they want access to public funds and resources. Wow, “those people” are diabolical. So, … Continue reading More Malakatude From The King Of Nothing

Invective NOLA Style

If you’re like me, you enjoy good invective. As far as I’m concerned, the best invective involves colorful phrases stated in original language. Hmm, that sounds like one of Jude’s posts. Invective is often associated with politics but a lot of political invective is of the “your socialist mama wears army boots” variety. Boring. The best use of invective that I’ve seen of late comes from a New Orleans Times-Picayune story with the prosaic headline, Parents say bus driver has bad attitude. This sounds like the sort of story I’d usually skip but check this passage out: Polk said his … Continue reading Invective NOLA Style

Can you hear me now?

I don’t know about you, but when I heard the news Monday that FCC Chairman Julius Genachowski had announced plans to formalize net neutrality principles, Kay Bailey Hutchison and the Texas gubernatorial race were the farthest things from my mind. But within just a couple of hours KBH was swaggering around on Twitter, throwing down trash talk. #KBH leading fight against #Obama #netneurality overregulation of Internet. More job killing regs from WH. http://tinyurl.com/n2g859 #tcot 4:43pm, Monday September 22 So it was “Team Kay,” not Kay herself, and she was actually just one of a group of particularly slimy Republicans: John … Continue reading Can you hear me now?

ÜberCreep

From2Millionth Web Log I’m not the type who can’t stop touching a toothache, but I had to read thisthreepart Salonseries on self-described rodeo clown Glenn Beck. It’s a much better read thanTime magazine’s recent tongue bath… On a personal note, way back in the day I had a couple of small jobs in small market radio, but still met a number of Beck wannabees…and wouldn’t give a nickel for the lot of them. Continue reading ÜberCreep

Thank God ACORN Will Never Help Anyone Again

The other day I was cleaning out some files I didn’t need anymore and ran across the First Draft Krewe’s sign-up sheet for our NOLA house-gutting trip. I’m surprised I was able to get on a plane last weekend, with allthe terroristic pimping and shit I’ve been doing with ACORN’s dastardly help. Jesus Saint Louis Christ. What a stupid load of horseshit this all is. I mean, we’ve solved it now, right? Fixed all our problems? Yanked their funding and demonized them publicly and made sure everyone knows that because some of their employees are massive fuckups that they’re never … Continue reading Thank God ACORN Will Never Help Anyone Again

Following The Money

Dan asks a question: Why has the church not targeted private insurers for the last thirty years? They are indispensable players in providing abortion services, yet as far as I know they have not been highlighted the way pro-choice politicians have. The Democratic nominee for president is singled out for his position. Why not the CEO of Aetna? And then answers it: Any religion worth its salt will periodically cause great discomfort at points across the political spectrum, and opposing Democratic health care reform because it expands coverage may be a coincidence too far. It makes the leadership’s position look … Continue reading Following The Money

Malaka Of The Week: Congressman Steve King

The malaka of the week sweepstakes didn’t need to run the whole consarn week thanks to a bit of idiocy out of the corn fed mouth of Iowa wingnut Steve King. The King of nothing was responding to a question posed by the Hill, “what vote would you like to redo?” “I don’t really go back and re-live that sort of thing. Some of the big votes that I’ve thought about, some of the jury’s still out. And at this point, maybe I’d answer that question another way, probably the singular vote that stands out that went against the grain, and it … Continue reading Malaka Of The Week: Congressman Steve King

I Me Me Mine

I was reading Athenae’s post about the RedState Morans, and it all circled around back to a theme I’d been thinking about for some time. We all have the “As long as I get mine” gene. I know that. There are situations where I would be all for saving the women and children first ’cause I have boobies and I’m kinda short. But when First Drafters raised $700 to send a soldier we’ve never met a bunch of cool stuff, well, it was a good reminder that we aren’t always slaves to our baser instincts. How many of those teabaggers … Continue reading I Me Me Mine

Dancin’ With The Bug Man

I have a dose of the non-swine flu, which seems to make me feel evil or something like that; at least I’m not oinking or getting calls from a teevee news doc. In short, I’m cranky and have felt like spreading some pain around the internets ever since I saw this clip atTPM first thing this morning. Damn you, David Kurtz, you’ve led me to the heart of darkness that isDancing With The [B-List] Stars: Continue reading Dancin’ With The Bug Man

Not That You Didn’t Know This

But GOD, Red State is run by morons. The animal shelter where I volunteer and where we got our three beasties had a similar sign for YEARS: We receive no state, federal or municipal dollars. The point of that sign isn’t to say “Look how awesome we volunteers are with our gritty self-reliance,” it’s to say “so pony up if you can, because we are SCREWED OVER HERE.” It’s to encourage private donations. That’s the only reason you communicate something like that. It really is remarkable the number of people who think saying, “Can’t you just get a grant? Can’t … Continue reading Not That You Didn’t Know This

Czars

Okay, I will freely admit I gave Bush some shit aboutthe czar business, too. Not because OMG CZAR IS FROM COMMUNIST RUSSIA SOCIALISM CANDY CANES BATS ARE EATING THE SUN, but because being in charge of shit is kind of the president’s job. And appointing a “war czar” was just silly. Paying him or her to tell you the war is fucked up and needs unfucking is sillier still, like, lots and lots of dirty fucking hippies told you that for free, genius. I get you want to delegate but I also get you can’t hand everything off and say … Continue reading Czars

Party On, Boris

My favorite story of the day comes from, of all places, USA Today. It makes me feel like a wayward traveler or something. Anyway,Taylor Branch is coming out with a book about the Clinton Presidency based on hours and hours of secret interviews with Bill whilst he was President. Apparently, Clinton hid the tapes in his sock drawer so I would have called the book, The Sock Drawer Tapes. You missed the boat on that title, Taylor… The best bit in Susan Page’s story is about everyone’s favorite drunken Russian Uncle, Boris Yeltsin: He [Clinton] also relayed howBoris Yeltsin‘s late-night … Continue reading Party On, Boris

Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – No Noose is Good Noose

Guys – Obsession is going to be on a one-week hiatus, I’m afraid. Just too many work-related time-wasters, coupled with a band road gig this past weekend (which is usually when I compile the compost). Mea Culpa, and I’ll be back bringing the crazy again next Monday. p>Tommy Continue reading Today on Tommy T’s Obsession with the Freeperati – No Noose is Good Noose

Top Manure

Political junkies have some weird hobbies. One of mine is British politics: I love the cut and thrust of the House Of Commons and I read theGuardian obsessively. That’s where I found an item aboutTop Gear presenterJeremy Clarkson getting in, uh, deep doo doo with some environmentalists who went, uh, mental and delivered 6 sacks of horse shit to Clarkson’s digs. Clarkson has been trading barbs with environment groups about global warming for years and now he’s in deep shit and sinking fast. Remind me not to piss these folks off: Continue reading Top Manure

Introducing The Malaka Of The Week

For the last few years, I’ve had a semi-regular feature at my blog, Malaka Of The Day. I’ve never done it daily but it has a nice ring to it. You’re probably asking yourself: what the hell does malaka mean? It’s Greek for wanker or jerk-off BUT it conveys so much more. It’s the primary cuss word in the Hellenic vocabulary: the equivalent of dropping a nuclear strength f-bomb. So, I’ve decided to import this feature to First Draft but I’m going to try very hard to do it regularly on either Friday or Saturday. I hope nobody intends to … Continue reading Introducing The Malaka Of The Week

Quitting Time Booster Shot

Welcome to the Booster, the debate-night edition, where no one needs to be raped or murdered to convince us of anything. – Spending the weekend judging debate at a local high school populated by exceptionally rich kids. The school is located in a part of town that I wouldn’t leave the shittiest car I’ve ever owned, which seems if not ironic, just downright unfair. The funniest thing about this is that every male child here looks like he is about 12 years old while every female debater looks like a) the uber nerd kid who would be kicked out of … Continue reading Quitting Time Booster Shot

Let Us Mourn The Death Of Civility

“How do you do, dear twat?” “Oh, very well, Mr. Cocksucker.” Are you tired ofthisstupidfuckingrefrain yet? Oh, boo hoo, life is just souncivil these days! Naturally, that statement begs the question: As opposed to when? Really, when was this Golden Age of Civility? Ten years ago? Fifty? One hundred? When the fuck was this time when everyone was concerned about etiquette and politeness? Because, honestly, I don’t think that shit ever existed. Let’s take a quick jaunt through American history, shall we? div style=”text-align: center;”>Ahh, colonial civility. That’s Captain John Malcolm, a loyalist and customs official, being tarred and feathered … Continue reading Let Us Mourn The Death Of Civility

Okay, Now I’m Really Alarmed

I’ve tried not to take the teabaggers as any kind of OMG TERRORIST THREAT, mostly because they’re the same stupid assholes you can find at any Burger King or tailgate party who will gladly tell you that they’re not racist, they just don’t like “all those black kids who talk loud” or some such (I’m not gonna link to the Dan Riehl post, it’s too depressing right now) and it’s just so DUMB. Then I woke up this morning to discover they’re freaking outLITTLE GREEN FOOTBALLS. I mean sweet holy Jesus I thought the site had been hijacked whenGreg pointed … Continue reading Okay, Now I’m Really Alarmed

This Is What Socialized Medicine Drives You To

Those crazy Canadians. Before seeing this pulp cover I had no idea that Canada had ten, count ’em, famous criminals back in the day. I think of Canadians as very polite folks who are the best neighbors in the world even if they have an actual Conservative Prime Minister these days. Of course, Mr. Harper has the good sense NOT to mess too much with socialized medicine. This post is, obviously, not about the effect of socialized medicine but is a rather self serving exercise to point you toward a regular feature at my own little corner of the interweb. … Continue reading This Is What Socialized Medicine Drives You To

“As if that matters to freedom-loving Americans…”

From the newly-launched website of thePresident’s Food Safety Working Group. In the coming months, at President Obama’s direction, the U.S. government will take long overdue action to protect American families from foodborne illness. This action includes new rules and standards to reducedangerous infections caused by Salmonella and E .coli O157:H7, better approaches to outbreak response, and vastly improved Federal coordination of food safety efforts. Together, these initial efforts represent a down payment on a stronger food safety system that will deliver greater value, more thoroughly prevent illnesses and more effectively promote the health and well-being of theAmerican people. Michele Bachmann … Continue reading “As if that matters to freedom-loving Americans…”

Get Over It

Okay, I was fine with chilling out on the Joe Wilson Dopapalooza. I was actually okay with no censure vote. I could have let it go. Really. The most I was going to do was a nice, civil post about why the “you lie” accusation was dangerous because it undermines the idea of good faith negotiation in Congress (which is, incidentally, why the British Parliament has rules about that–you cannot accuse an MP of lying, even in the free-for-all that is Question Time). And then a friend told me it wasn’t a big deal. That Democrats should just get over … Continue reading Get Over It

Potato

I don’t usually have spuds for breakfast but I like oddities. This video surely qualifies. It was sent to me by my darlin’ wife Dr. A. Yes, you heard that right, another A has joined the First Draft famiglia. Mr. A meet Dr. A. I used the Italian word for family since this weird little gnocchi free video comes from Italian teevee sometime in the late ’70’s and features Rita Pavone who, apparently, was a household name in Italy back when the Red Brigades were kidnapping former Premiers and cutting the ears off rich dudes. It was a heavy time … Continue reading Potato