Welcome to the Booster, the debate-night edition, where no one needs to be raped or murdered to convince us of anything.
– Spending the weekend judging debate at a local high school
populated by exceptionally rich kids. The school is located in a part of town
that I wouldn’t leave the shittiest car I’ve ever owned, which seems if not
ironic, just downright unfair. The funniest thing about this is that every male
child here looks like he is about 12 years old while every female debater looks
like a) the uber nerd kid who would be kicked out of band for being too uncool
or b) the star of “The Crush 3.” I saw a kid on a pair of heels so high, she
almost needed to wear an orange hat to warn low-flying aircraft of her presence.
– Here’s a bit of advice to the folks out there who think
that brights and regular headlights are the same thing: They’re not. Thus, when
one headlight burns out, drive over to the auto parts store and replace it.
They cost very little. If you don’t get one before the second one burns out, go
out during the next set of daylight hours and replace them both. Again, you’re
looking at about 20 bucks max. As a guy who was in front of someone who failed
to do this, let me assure you that cranking on the brights and driving up my
ass is not something cool to do.
– If you haven’t found this yet, follow @shitmydadsays on
Twitter. It’s worth it.
– From the “Since when have facts dissuaded FOX from doing
anything” department: Apparently, CNN sending 12 reporters to the anti-tax
rally was “missing” the story according to FOX. I know the First Amendment
protects all points of view, but could we amend it to include a “shenanigans”
provision for shitholes like FOX News? I’ll bring my own broom…
– Special shout out to Jude for the “Admitting you’re an
asshole” post. I’m ripping the poster and am planning to iron glue it to the
forehead of a departmental colleague.
– Was hanging at the student newspaper office when my cell
went off. The ringtone is a nice rip that I built from the Dylan/Will.i.am
Pepsi commercial, in which I took the rap side of “Forever Young.” The kids all
started looking around and asked, “Who’s phone is that?” I grabbed it and
walked out of the cave for better cell service. When I got back, one of the
kids said, “Was that REALLY your phone? I never imagined you would have a rap
song on your ringer.” How goddamned old do they think I am? Jesus, Rapper’s
Delight came out when I was about five…
– Had a weird moment in which I ended up getting into a
discussion with the newsroom kids about the concept of a “Hot Carl.” Never
heard of it. Looked it up. Realized that I never should look stuff up ever again.
However, the fact that this (and the concept of “Space Docking”) are not only
defined but apparently practiced makes me wonder why we’re freaking out about
swine flu instead of panicking about this stuff.
– And finally, from the “chutzpah maximus” department: A kid in one of my rounds, who was a minority, brought up the idea that standardized tests were unfair to minority students because the tests didn’t measure things properly. The opponent brought up the point that she was a bigger minority than he was, defining minorities as someone who wasn’t male and at least 25 percent non-Caucasian. “I’m a woman and I’m a quarter Hungarian,” she said. “I am way more minority than he is.” OK, I’m going to have to ponder that for a while…
In the mean time, thanks for letting me share your air. Be back next week.