The featured image is of Jack E Leonard who was a bona fide insult comedian. His role at First Draft is a simple one: He’s a pictorial stand-in for Donald Trump who is the first insult comedian to become president. I almost said “serve as” but he only serves himself. He regards the federal treasury as a buffet from which to gorge himself like the Monty Python character Mr. Creosote:

A new Trump stand-in has been born.

Let’s get to the meat of the post, which has nothing to do with Trump’s cotton candy piss hair and everything to with his loose lips that are forever sinking ships. When he gets a wild hair up his ass, chaos ensues. That’s why I call him the Kaiser of Chaos.

Trump was in Ireland last weekend attending the Irish Open, which was held at one of his money losing golf courses.

With his customary delicacy and tact, Trump weighed in on Irish unification:

Speaking while sitting alongside Taoiseach Micheál Martin, the US president said: “Well, I don’t want to cause any problems, but I will tell you I’d love to see it unified.

 

“I have friends on both sides, great people. They’re Irish people. How can they be bad, right? I’d love to see it unified. I think it would be a great feather in everybody’s cap if that happened. It’s going to happen eventually.

 

“You know what? The way I look at it, it’s going to happen eventually. It may as well happen now.”

The Insult Comedian’s offhand comment has set off a firestorm in the UK. Right-wing pols who usually dig Trump are outraged by this meddlesome comment. The leaders of both Reform UK and the Tories embrace a union that includes Northern Ireland, especially its Protestant population. They are not happy.

Equally perturbed is the Labour government of Andy Burnham whose forebearer Tony Blair negotiated the Good Friday Agreement ending The Troubles and disarming IRA and Unionist militias. The agreement was already shaky thanks to Brexit but the last thing anyone needed was the Buttinski-in-Chief chiming in.

One Irish leader was thrilled: The leftist former Sinn Féin honcho and suspected IRA terrorist Gerry Adams.

Sinn Féin figures welcomed Trump’s support for Irish unification. “They reflect the broad North American sentiment towards Irish unity and particularly the Irish diaspora towards Irish reunification,” said Gerry Adams, the party’s former leader.”

The wild Irish hair up his ass is the latest example of the Insult Comedian’s fatal inability to STFU. A sane person who lived through The Troubles would never speak so rashly. Trump is neither sane nor circumspect. On the spur of the moment, he decided to wade into one of the world’s most difficult dilemmas, pretending that a fix is available and easy. Remember when he promised to end the Russo-Ukrainian War on the first day of his second term. The war rages on.

One good thing came of Trump Irish sojourn:

How do you get U.S. President Donald Trump to cut tariffs? Evidently, let him host your nation’s golf tournament in one of his resorts. Trump announced Sunday night he will remove the 10% U.S. tariff charge on Irish whiskey products. He made the move as a crowd-pleaser at the closing ceremony of the Irish Open, where he presented the winner’s trophy to Ireland’s Shane Lowry.”

I was being sarcastic when I called this good. It’s a pernicious example of MAGA patrimonialism. Trump regards the federal government as his personal possession and tariffs as either rewards for good behavior or punishment for bad behavior to be imposed or removed at the presidential whim. Neither is true nor legal. Tariffs are taxes and only Congress can authorize new tariffs as even the Roberts Court agrees. It’s irrelevant that the Insult Comedian thinks “tariff is the most beautiful world in the language.” He’s as full of shit as Mr. Creosote.

One of the Insult Comedian’s super powers is the ability to alienate friends and make a bad situation worse. That’s what happened in Ireland and the UK last weekend. He’d call it disruption. I’d call it a fuck up.

Repeat after me: Donald Trump is a fuck up.

The last word goes to dueling Troubles era songs by John Lennon followed by Wings: