Let Us Mourn The Death Of Civility

“How do you do, dear twat?” “Oh, very well, Mr. Cocksucker.”

Are you tired ofthisstupidfuckingrefrain yet? Oh, boo hoo, life is just souncivil these days!

Naturally, that statement begs the question: As opposed to when?

Really, when was this Golden Age of Civility? Ten years ago? Fifty? One hundred? When the fuck was this time when everyone was concerned about etiquette and politeness? Because, honestly, I don’t think that shit ever existed. Let’s take a quick jaunt through American history, shall we?

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Ahh, colonial civility.

That’s Captain John Malcolm, a loyalist and customs official, being tarred and feathered by a Boston mob in 1774. Tarring and feathering, for those of you who don’t know, was a torture inflicted upon individuals by mobs. This incident occurred before the Revolutionary War. Nice and civil, no? I’m sure no one spoke out of turn or used bad words, so that makes it okay, right?

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Oh, how we yearn for these bygone days.