Invective NOLA Style

If you’re like me, you enjoy good invective. As far as I’m concerned, the best invective involves colorful phrases stated in original language. Hmm, that sounds like one of Jude’s posts. Invective is often associated with politics but a lot of political invective is of the “your socialist mama wears army boots” variety. Boring.

The best use of invective that I’ve seen of late comes from a New Orleans Times-Picayune story with the prosaic headline, Parents say bus driver has bad attitude. This sounds like the sort of story I’d usually skip but check this passage out:

Polk said his daughter was upset because D’Antoni had
singled her out and “made fun of her” on the bus, tearing up a hat she
had been given as part of her pre-kindergarten class at Abney
Elementary School.

“I told him I was going to rip off both his legs and then
beat him with them,” said Polk, who added that he did not raise his
voice as he spoke to the driver.

That’s invective of sublime quality, folks. It’s worthy of Larry David or Pauly Walnuts or Barney Frank or the late great Earl Long; not names I would ordinarily string together in a sentence but if the rant fits, wear it…

8 thoughts on “Invective NOLA Style

  1. Jude says:

    Are you sure you’re from New Orleans? I heard that phrase at an early age, as well as it’s corollary, “I’ll rip off your leg and beat you with the bloody end.”
    Stock conversation phrase, really.

  2. Adrastos says:

    I guess it’s gone out of fashion because I’ve heard a lot of good stuff but not that. I guess the angry father is a throwback.

  3. soullite says:

    I live in upstate NY, the idea of tearing someones arms off and beating them with them has traveled at least this far.
    This guy tormented a little kid. If someone did that to my daughter, I wouldn’t have even bothered with the warning.

  4. TheOtherWA says:

    She’s in PRE-kindergarten, and the bus driver was making fun of her and tore up her hat? WTF? Seriously, wtf is wrong with an adult who would do that?
    She’s not my child andI’d rip off both his legs and beat him with them.

  5. The Other Sarah says:

    That bus driver so needs to be one of the unemployed, and barred from working around kids for life.

  6. Lex says:

    The driver has serious problems. That said, the best variation I’ve heard on this was a blogger on Long Island whose nom de blog now escapes me who once wrote, “I wish I had an artificial leg so I could take it off and beat you to death with it.”

  7. pansypoo says:

    i’d think a leg would be bulky. give his arm so i cal slap him w/ it.

  8. Adrastos says:

    If not for Congressman King, Bus Driver D’Antonio might be a popular choice for malaka of the week. He really should find another line of work: tow truck driver maybe.

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