How To Post At LGF/Freeperville/Red State

Here’s the instruction book:

  1. 1. Preface your post by saying “this is just something I noticed in all Jews/Hispanics/Blacks/Asians”. I mean, if its just an observation, it can’t be racist.
  2. 2. Preface your post by saying how you have plenty of Jewish/Hispanic/Black/Asian friends, but you need to let this off your chest.
  3. 3. Before making a blatantly racist statement, CLEARLY state that you are not a racist. This absolves you.
  4. 4. Make sure you insult that particular race’s women. Do they have big butts? Hooked noses? Greasy hair? Let them know! After all, its just something you noticed.
  5. 5. ALWAYS quote statistics. Did the Vatican research board determine that 98.7% of all homosexuals are condemned to hell for all eternity? Cite it. Did a Klan survey find that Jews are 78% more likely to be cheap and smelly? Copy and paste baby!
  6. 6. Don’t forget to insult that race’s homeland, even if most of them have never been there. Latin America/the Middle East/Asia/Africa sure does suck, and its YOUR responsibility to let people know anonymously through the internet.

A.

7 thoughts on “How To Post At LGF/Freeperville/Red State

  1. Wow, A. You are so informative. Now I can make all kinds of rude comments about others and not sound at all racists because I know the proper way to preface things so that it is just a rabid observation or something based on baseless statistics. Oh, boy. Thanks for the outline. It’s like having a license to demean!

  2. Don’t forget to mention before you begin that you know that this isn’t “politically correct” (be sure and include quotes or, if speaking, “air quotes” with your fingers — you know, in the Rumsfeldian sort of way)

  3. Friendly amendment to your post:
    In homage to Rumsfeld, also be sure to obscure your insults with haughty sounding analogies, high praise, and disclaimers that you’re really not saying what you’re saying.. For example:
    Just for the sake of example, and not at all to attack Athenae, of whom I have the utmost regards. We have an excess of information on Commie Pnko Liberals like Athenae. To give you an idea of how much intelligence (even though we can’t reveal the information due to national security), there are the things we know that we know, the things that we know that we don’t know we know, …

  4. and don’t forget #7 – follow up any suggestion that an entire race be nuked into oblivion with “…maybe THEN they’ll learn! LOL!LOL!LOL!!!”
    -dan mcenroe

  5. And just to open your arms wide so to embrace all the other wingnuts, be sure to put in there somewhere that “I know that I’m not the only person who’s noticed/suspected this”.
    And just to clinch things, don’t forget “. . .and the liberals are always pandering to THEM”.

  6. Athenae, you left out the best thing of all (at the very end):
    **IMPORTANT** Under no circumstances should you check your spelling or grammar.
    Ah, I can smell the trolls from here!

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