Your President Speaks!

Today, on Wall Street.

Too Many Things Are Beeing Spent

One thing we can do to show the American people that we’re going to be smart about how we spend their money is to do something about earmarks — it’s that system of appropriations where things end up being spent even though nobody has voted on them.

My Cat’s Breath Smells Like Catfood

Yesterday, I went to the Caterpillar plant in Peoria, Illinois — that’s where they make big bulldozers.

Paging Doctor Freud

In this global economy, new competition means that American businesses must constantly approve.

Imbecile – That’s A Fancy Word For Dumbass

We’re spending money on cellulosic ethanol — that’s a fancy word for saying some day we’re going to be able to convert switch grass into energy that powers your cars.

Yeah, Some People Don’t Like Accountability [whistles]

I understand some people don’t like accountability, but how can you make sure if our kids are getting the foundation for the skills necessary to compete in the 21st century unless you measure?

Read With Your Ears

I appreciate the fact that the SEC has issued new rules to ensure that there is transparency when it comes to executive pay packages. The print ought to be big and understandable. When people analyze their investment, they ought to see loud and clear — they ought to be able to see with certainty the nature of the compensation packages for the people entrusted to run the companies in which they’ve got an investment.

7 thoughts on “Your President Speaks!

  1. Father Figure says:

    Well, at least he didn’t admit that its where he thought they made caterpillars…

  2. Neal Deesit says:

    “It seemed like to me they based some of their decisions on the word of — and the allegations — by people who were held in detention, people who hate America, people that had been trained in some instances to disassemble — that means not tell the truth.”
    That’s why Commander Codpiece visited the Caterpillar plant, because good people, who are not held in detention and who love America, have been trained to assemble — that means telling the truth about — big bulldozers.

  3. david says:

    He really enunciated hard on that “disassemble”, too.

  4. Cautious Man says:

    My favorite episode of “President Bush explains a word”, was the one where he gets the word wrong, and then sounds even more clueless as he explains the meaning of the wrong word –
    “It seemed like to me they based some of their decisions on the word of — and the allegations — by people who were held in detention, people who hate America, people that had been trained in some instances to disassemble — that means not tell the truth.”
    It’s from May, 2005, in a discussion of an Amnesty International report on detainees:
    http://www.whitehouse.gov/news/releases/2005/05/20050531.html

  5. piegrrrl says:

    Yesterday, I went to the Caterpillar plant in Peoria, Illinois — that’s where they make big bulldozers.
    To the larval mind, everything’s a cocoon.

  6. charley says:

    Yesterday, I went to the Caterpillar plant in Peoria, Illinois — that’s where they make big bulldozers.
    he did not say that, did he?
    oh never mind.

  7. Innocent Bystander says:

    Anyone know what his native language is? I heard it was Incompetence, but I don’t know if it’s has a Romance language root.

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