I Wish I Was This Optimistic


If McCain wins, he’ll face a Democratic congress that’s beyond furious. Losing is one thing, but after eight years of George Bush and Karl Rove, losing a vicious campaign like this one will cause Dems to go berserk. They won’t even return McCain’s phone calls, let alone work with him on legislation. It’ll be four years of all-out war.

Really? They’ll be furious? They’ll wage all-out war? Really? Kevin has such faith in the outrage capacity and fortitude of the elected leaders of the Democratic party. He really thinks they’ll wage all-out war. It’s charming, in a way. Jesus tits. I have absolutely no faith at all that he’s right. I would like to sit here tonight, fired up, to tell you that even if, God forbid, we end up with President McCain and Vice President Palin, they’ll face a hostile Congress determined to blunt their every crap endeavor … I would so like to tell you that.

But the past two years have shown us nothing if not that what Congressional Democrats are most afraid of is being called pussies and partisans and hippies and liberals on TV. We saw it on the war and we saw it on FISA and we saw it every time Joe Lieberman opened his mouth (ooooh, he’s not getting invited to party lunches he himself voluntarily stopped attending months ago!) and we’re seeing it with SCHIP and we’re seeing it with drilling. We’re seeing that on every issue who the Democrats actually respond to is their big-business bankrollers and the cable TV loudmouths and professional assholes like David Broder, and we’re not replacingthem this election, more’s the goddamn pity.

Let me tell you what will happen should President McCain take the oath of office. There will be approximately six months of a honeymoon period, during which every commentator on TV and every Democrat who appears beside said commentator mouths the words “deserves the benefit of the doubt.” Much saying of “time to move beyond the past” will occur. The President will be presumed to have time to put his or her cabinet together, appoint varous hacks and morons to various high positions during which time even Russ Feingold will declare that the President should get what the President wants. During these six months, another few hundred US soldiers will die in Iraq. Iraqis will die, too, but we won’t count them. The economy will continue to get worse.

After those six months, some sort of foreign policy crisis will increase the President’s Sunday Show Street Cred. He will appear on TV looking powerful and it’ll hit the re-set clock on those six months. His approval ratings will slip, but it’ll just be hippies and decadent leftists in enclaves. Real Americans will still love the President, because he’s the president, and deserves the benefit of the doubt. Really, we should move beyond the past. Lather, rinse, repeat, stab out own brain with fish fork, until it’s four years later and we’re trying to figure out how we are still in Iraq and why nothing’s been done, and oh hello, Mr. NSA Agent, so pleased to see you at my door this fine autumn evening. Wheredoes the time go?

Maybe, if a Democratic Congress gets pissed enough, we can muster up a half-dozen or so senators to say what needs saying to the soon-to-be-former Bush Administration and the incoming McCain Administration:You people are whoremongers who killed hundreds of thousands of innocents and you should stand in the public square IN CHAINS. Maybe a President McCain might make them mad enough to stand up and say that, a couple of them anyway, at least until five or six “journalists” on a morning show all soberly agree they went too far. Maybe the apology that eventually comes forth will be a little less grovel-some, if Congress declares all-out war, after five or six years of the benefit of the doubt, and waiting until the time is right, and keeping the powder dry.

I mean honestly, can any of you who’ve lived through the HIDEOUSLY UNPOPULAR PRESIDENT BUSH’s second term see this happening?

Wage all-out war. What might that look like? Sternly worded letters? Votes of contempt? Maybe the Democratic Congress will be so pissed off it will vote to condemn MoveOn.org, or pass a resolution honoring Christmas, or lauding Rush Limbaugh.

You can never do that kind of thing too often.


20 thoughts on “I Wish I Was This Optimistic

  1. I wouldn’t give the congressional democrats too much credit for anything these days. Except for being well trained corporate lap dogs with good health care and retirement benefits. I’m not sure Obama will be able to do much with them either, though I hope he gets the chance to try.

  2. Obama has to win.
    There are demographic forces that will help decent leadership win the White House at some point in the not so distant future but the country has lung cancer and heart disease now and needs some treatment. Barack Obama doesn’t have magic medicine but at least he understands the patient is in trouble. John McCain is offering America a carton of smokes and a double cheeseburger.

  3. That’s pretty much perfect. Too bad that in this case, “perfect” means I agree with you that we’re on the verge of total national insanity.

  4. Plus, don’t forget, we’ll get to watch Nancy Pelosi grinning through the whole thing. Wipe that smile off your face, girl.

  5. Drums must have taken up permanent residence in his Happy Place.
    I wonder what color the sky is in his world?

  6. So here’s the deal: let’s make damn certain that we don’t have to find out who was right in this argument. (Though for the record, I’m always picking A.)
    This time, I will not accept anything less than Obama in the White House. I will not let them steal it with an October surprise or Diebold machinery. If there is even a hint of something Rovian on this election day that might help McCain crawl across the finish line, I fully expect demonstrations. And I don’t expect that they will be peaceful.
    But again, let’s make damn certain that it doesn’t get to that point. Let’s push like crazy to make sure that Obama wins by such a wide margin that nobody could even think about stealing this election.
    Today we fight.

  7. Obama has got the stink of a loser on him right now, much bigger than Kerry or Gore did, more like Dukakis (or Bobdole). at some point, Obama is gonna have to demonstrate that he will actually do something as president. he will have to make the case for his own election. right now they seem to be relying on the “not as bad as McCain” theme, but that’s not gonna work.
    anybody who thinks that Obama’s “superior ground game” and GOTV are gonna win this think is having smoke blown up their ass. Obama looks like the incredible shrinking candidate, with his careful, nuanced answers, his substance-free policies and his inability or unwillingness to articulate a clear alternative to what McCain and Palin are selling. Biden? who?
    this loss will be Obama’s fault, nobody else’s. he should have whipped the McCain campaign into a pulp by now. Hillary would have, you know damn well she would. and even though the Obama and DNC machine will gear up to try to pin the loss on her, Obama gets the blame.

  8. At this point I think it is pretty certain that we will get the opportunity to see if A is right. Perhaps sometime in the next month Obama will decide to campaign effectively, if he knows how, but by then it will be too late, and the nation’s number one expert on energy will be vice president, a heart beat away from…disaster for all of us.
    I have been wondering if I’m willing to be a thousand miles from my adult children and their families. Moving to Canada looks better every day.

  9. Athenae, unfortunately I agree with your analysis 100%.

    this loss will be Obama’s fault, nobody else’s.

    No, it won’t be Obama’s fault. It will be the American people’s fault. All the candidate can do is put himself out there, and Obama has done/is doing that. It’s up to the people to actively participate in the electoral process, to demand that candidates speak truthfully, to seek out the truth if it is being hidden from them or distorted by spinmeisters and sophists. Unless citizens make some minimal effort to become informed and participate in the process, it will fail. And the past 40 years have seen a LOT of epic fail. There are some scary parallels to 1988 about this election season; I hope the result is different, because as joe-cubed said, Obama MUST win this election or there’s a very real possibility of disaster.

  10. We’re seeing that on every issue who the Democrats actually respond to is their big-business bankrollers and the cable TV loudmouths and professional assholes like David Broder, and we’re not replacing them this election, more’s the goddamn pity.
    That is the thing that pisses me off. WHEN Obama wins he will have to still deal with these jackholes. One way we can support the Obama president will be to defund these people. And of course we have to be smart about it because if we try anything like reinstating the fairness doctrine they will squeal. I say figure out other pressure points.
    I have a question for you. Do you think that Rush, and Hannity and Beck should get money from us for trashing our causes and our canididates? I don’t.
    What are you going to do if you hear an ad for our side on their show?

  11. When McCain wins, the Dems in Congress, led by Nancy and Harry, will collectively spread their buttcheeks and say “C’mon in!”
    Totally Fucking Useless.

  12. And this is why I’ve had to step away from the Beachwood Reporter (much as I’ve been addicted to it)for the duration, not because it points out negative things about Obama (because I think it’s useful to be reminded that all politicians are just that–politicians) but because it depresses me immensely to think that if Steve really doesn’t see *any* difference in qualifications between Palin and Obama and that if enough good, smart people think that too, we will get at least 4 years of President McCain:
    Palin Drone
    I’m still trying to figure out why 20 months as Alaska governor after six years as a small-town mayor is any more insufficient than 24 months as a United States senator after eight years as a part-time Illinois state senator. Neither of them is qualified.

  13. Yo, what’s up with all the loser talk? Obama and Biden not hitting back hard enough for ya? Hit for them. Make some noise, people!

  14. A has it right about Congress. But then maybe Hillary will make a move for the ML in the Senate. That might stiffen some things. And Barbara can be the whip.
    Pelosi is about the most disappointing leader I have ever seen. She had a pretty much fired up Democratic class, a fired up base, shards of broken ceiling glass, that stupid, fat, gym coach shuffled off to his cave, AND SHE PISSED IT ALL AWAY BY TAKING HER ONE AND ONLY WEAPON (OR TOOL IF YOU PREFER) OFF THE TABLE.
    Dumb stupid gutless asshole. Standing in the End Zone with no one around and waiting for the Super Bowl touchdown pass, and she dropped the ball, like Jackie Smith, right in her fucking mitts.
    I don’t think she’s corrupt, not really, I think she’s risen to her level of incompetence.

  15. “I mean honestly, can any of you who’ve lived through the HIDEOUSLY UNPOPULAR PRESIDENT BUSH’s second term see this happening?”
    Unfortunately, it happened during Nixons term.

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