Commenter Jules writes in:

My partner and I got married in August in Los Angeles.

We live in Indiana and have been together 17 years. We have raised three kids in those 17 years. I legally adopted our youngest a few years ago.

We promised ourselves that as soon as we could legally marry in another state, we would, knowing that our own state would not recognize it.

We filled out the application online and then travelled to LA for the ceremony. One of my sisters who lives in LA went through the training so that she could perform the ceremony. After we arrived in LA, we went to the courthouse in Beverly Hills to get our license application. I was so happy as the clerk asked us all the questions. When she handed us our paperwork and congratulated us, a woman in the lobby cheered for us.

We held our ceremony in the atrium garden at the Tar Pits. It is a beautiful spot and has been a favorite place to visit for both my wife and I when we have gone to LA. We paid the museum entry and simply went in and my sister performed the ceremony. No big fanfare.

I cried through the whole thing. Tears of joy mixed with sorrow for those who weren’t with us. My father who passed away in 2004, my step-father in 2007, and my mother just last February. They weren’t with us on our wedding day. If we had been able to marry when we first exchanged rings 15 years ago, they all would have been able to see us legally marry.

Now we are back in Indiana and to our home state, our new marriage license is just a piece of paper. As I contribute more money this morning to try and defeat Prop 8, I am afraid that some stranger’s vote out of fear and ignorance will undermine yet again a small gain for equality that we have made.

I hope that Prop 8 will be defeated. I am afraid that it won’t.

The 2004 campaign’s been on my mind a lot lately, especially thinking about what happens if by some miracle McCain pulls this out. The 2004 campaign, and how afterward Democrats were still in “cower and run from our strengths” mode, and far too many of them suggested that instead of needing a new marketing campaign we needed an entirely new product, one that included New and Improved Bigotry with Optional Cowardice Attachment to appeal to the coalition of lazy dickless wonders that made up Bush’s margin of victory.

At that time, Tena wrote:

I have never in my life been so disappointed in people as I am in the so-called liberals who are all over the blogosphere bashing gays and blaming them. If y’all want to be fascist appeasers, then be my guest, but you are not going to have me as a companion on your particular road to tyranny and hell.

The world keeps spinning. The times keep changing. And the more problems we face, real problems, the pettier and stupider and more embarrassing it seems that we will ever, ever, ever again look atpeople in love loving each other and wanting to take care of each other as some kind of obstacle to achieving our true goals. If there’s something I love about 2008, it’s been our ability to stop taking whatever hate they dish out and letting it plow us under, letting it make us question, “Hmm, I wonder if they’re right and we’re wrong?”

On this, on many things, on so many things but especially on this, they’re wrong. And we’re right.

The polling shows it’s close.

Vote No on Prop 8.


7 thoughts on “BIGOTS GO HOME

  1. Maitri, that is six kinds of awesome! I just sent that to a gazillion friends as a Halloween greeting. Thanks!
    And I donated to Prop 8 two weeks ago (not much, but all I could afford at that point). Now that it’s payday, I’m going to send them a teeny bit more.
    Say no to bigotry!

  2. Thanks again, A, for giving us a voice and keeping us all fighting.
    barking spider

  3. The article detailing that new Field Poll was in the LA Times this morning.,0,7736694.story
    And yesterday (or the day before) there was a pretty good article about what happens, legally, to the 16,000 married couples if Prop. 8 should pass. Short answer: No one really knows.,0,6689439.story
    The only other thing(s) I can tell you from here in suburban Los Angeles is 1) the ‘default’ position of the average California voter is to say ‘No’ to a proposition, until something or somebody convinces them otherwise, so the wording on Prop 8 is the right way round, and 2) for a long time, the ‘Yes on prop 8’ advertizing was far outdoing any ‘No on Prop 8’ ads, but that has evened out some the last week or so.

  4. It would be nice if Obama would send out a mass e-mail this weekend – not asking his base to vote in a particular way (as he’s stated his opposition to gay marriage) but just reminding them in general to vote on downstream races and propositions. This because a little anecdotal (door-knocking, calling) evidence suggests that many of the Obamamaniacs new to voting were/are only planning on voting for the presidential race … no coattails that way either.

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