1. Fire all sports columnists, especially thosewho talk about sexual assault as if it’s a disappointing character flaw instead of a crime.
2. Hire The Editors and printthat shit everywhere:
Fuck Ben Roethlotsletters. He’s way overrated, he’s superboring to watch,
he plays for a degenerate football team, his name is an overturned
Scrabble board, and, even among pro football players, he stands out as
an unlikable moron. Now we know his drinking habits offend the DA of
Hicksville, GA, and that he is a shameless toilet tramp. These are
certainly not the sorts of qualities a young gentleman should seek to
cultivate, but none of them are really remotely comparable to rape or
assault, nor do they require swift and sure retribution. (None of them
are really comparable to lying about felonies, either*.) If someone
goes around raping people, that person should be put in jail. Rapists
don’t need to “grow up”, “be better leaders”, or “not put themselves in
these positions”, they need to go to prison and stop raping people, and
rape isn’t a situation where you can criticize everyone for their
actions that night.