Only My Constant Vigilance Keeps My Husband Faithful


I am deeply saddened by the news of Congressman
Mark Souder’s fall into the temptation of an affair. Those of us who
have worked with Mark over the years know him to be a kind and
thoughtful legislator. If Mark Souder is capable of sexual misconduct,
it could happen to anyone. The frat house environment on Capitol Hill
does nothing to encourage accountability. Most Members do not live with
their families while they are working in D.C. during the week and have
even ditched common rules of etiquette that even major corporations
follow such as office doors with windows or careful examination of
employee/boss interaction.

347th verse, same as the first: Women are responsible for everything. Safeguarding our virginity from marauding males, and then once we’ve secured those males into marriage, making sure they’re not ever tempted away, because if they are, it’ll be our fault for not fucking them enough, or something. Either way, men are animals with no control over their actions.

I mean, Jesus H, there is no magic environment which makes someone a cheating hypocrite scumbag. People cheat because they want to cheat more than they want to not cheat. People will do that here, in DC, in the Arctic Circle, in frigging Brigadoon. Guys like this are just looking for a way to make it not their fault. Women don’t even exist for these dudes except as excuses to be the shitheads they’ve always wanted to be, and so long as there’s a racy girl around or a bumpin’ song playing, they can pretend to be powerless not to stick their dicks in ladies they aren’t married to.

And women scared of losing their security in a wingnut world where marriage is deified will do anything to make themselves believe they can stop their husbands from cheating on them. If the guy was just coming home to sleep in his own bed more often, he wouldn’t be tempted. Not tempted, he wouldn’t do anything. Then their family would be safe and everything would be okay.

Look, I get the argument that Ladies Against Women is making up there. I’m no stranger to the idea that when you spend all your time with the same people all day long in a high-stress environment, things get mixed up emotionally. Had this guy divorced his wife like a grown-up, confessed he had fallen in love with someone else, and then married this other chick, while preaching for sex inside the sanctity of marriage, I’d have less of a problem. People are tempted all the time. People consider things, all the time. That’s everybody. But we do men and women no favors by pretending men have no agency, and have to be watched like unruly children or dogs. No matter how crazy things got in the frat house, nobody put a gun to your head and made you fuck the cheerleader.

Seriously, we hear this all the time from conservatives of various stripes, and it really depresses the fuck out of me, the anger and the fear and the prison environment they envision for marriages. And these are the people who think everybody straight should get hitched at the age of 20 and begin making babies for the Reich. No wonder young America by and large is all, “erm, yeah, no.”


9 thoughts on “Only My Constant Vigilance Keeps My Husband Faithful

  1. This is pretty much SOP for the Conservative Women for a Republican Jesus.
    If they can see a quarter-inch of daylight to a position that deflects blame from a “family values” fraudster to the libruls, why, that’s the point to which they will happily slither.
    This is the point where one could ask them about “personal responsibility,” but the only response would be incoherent mumbles.

  2. And note also, the forgiveness and understanding for one of our tribe, but not for those teenage immigrant welfare mothers on dope.

  3. And as Hecate has pointed out, where was all this blaming Washington when Clinton’s infidelity was revealed?
    There was no blaming of the “frat house environment” of DC then, oh no…

  4. As someone pointed out on a different blog, the “frat house environment on Capitol Hill” and the suggestion that his family was not with him in Washington made him have an affair in Indiana, in a park in Indiana, with a woman who lived in Indiana, and was his staffer in Indiana.

  5. “The frat house environment on Capitol Hill does nothing to encourage accountability.”
    That’s not the entire problem. The lack of “accountability” is due to the refusal of Congress to make itself subject to the sexual harassment and discrimination laws that cover all other workplaces in the United States, both public and private.
    Congressmen can harass and have sex with their subordinates without ever having to face an EEO lawsuit. That removes a big disincentive to messing around with their staff.

  6. If one finds it necessary to “keep a constant vigil” lest he/she cheats, you definitely have a problem. “I Do” isn’t supposed to be a prison sentence, yet some spouses want an accounting of every moment spent away from the so-called loving spouse. Reinforces my thankfulness I am single.

  7. it helps if you are not perpetually sniffing around for extra sex.
    but if they did’t play the ‘morals” card, we could be like europe.

  8. The legal department has asked me to remind you to please use the correct, trademarked terminology.
    It is “Capital One® Hill” not Capitol Hill.
    Your cooperation in this matter is appreciated.

  9. …it could happen to anyone.
    “Happen to”? Really? How about a decision he made to have sex with someone not his spouse. Nothing “happened” to him that he didn’t decide to do.

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