May I call you Andrew? Let me start with a few compliments. I think you’re
doing a good job so far as Governor of the Empire State and I’m a *great
admirer* of your father, Mario. Yeah, he left me at the altar in 1988 and 1992
but the man is too awesome to hold a grudge against. Of course, you know that,
and are probably tired of hearing about your dad when you have your own
Okey doke, that was the sweet part of this open letter, here’s the bitter.
What on earth were you thinking when you appointed former Katrina Kaiser Ed
Blakely to your Hurricane Sandy commission? It looks like your staff fell down a
12-story walkup on this one. I am a New Orleanian and Dr. Blakely was about as
popular and competent as the man who appointed him, C Ray Nagin.
When Kaiser Ed (I always called him that, Tsars are for schmucks) first came
to NOLA, he had the hint of the windbag about him but I wanted to give him a
chance. I stuck to my guns for about 6 months until it became clear that
Blakely was all talk and no action. He insulted the community (he’s bound to
call Staten Islanders insular Guidos at some point) and launched a flotilla of
trial balloons for initiatives that never came to fruition.
I cannot honestly think of a tangible accomplishment by Blakely during his
time here. He promised “cranes in the sky” and, well, the skyline was
bereft of them until he was metaphorically ridden out of town on a rail.
I reckon that your staff looked at Kaiser Ed’s resume and didn’t use the Google
before the appointment was made. Bad staff, bad. If they had they would have
found my little buddy Jeffrey’s classic post, Come
Crane With Me: An Ed Blakely Timeline.It’s a brilliant summary of
Blakely’s misspent time in the Crescent City and it’s funny as hell to boot.
There is only one way that this appointment makes sense, use him as an
example of bad recovery planning. Anything Kaiser Ed suggests, do the opposite.
The man does not know his ass from a hole in the ground but he can talk for
hours without saying a bloody thing that makes a lick of sense.
There’s still time for you to dodge the Blakely bullet, Andrew. I initially
refused to believe it was true so I consulted with Gambit
Editor Kevin Allmanwho confirmed the story even though it had yet to
appear anywhere in the reality based media such as the Times or Daily News; the
NY Post doesn’t count but you knew that already.
So, Governor, shitcan the appointment before Ed shows up, makes an ass out of
himself and embarrasses you by saying something stupid and offensive. Don’t say
that the folks in New Orleans didn’t warn you of his douchebaggery and
malakatude because I just did.