The Year Of Living Carlos Dangerously

Anthony Weiner has, uh, thrust his way back into the national news with a follow-up sexting-n-lying scandal.He sent pictures of his junk to some woman using the pseudonym Carlos Danger. What a putz, schmuck, malaka, and douchebag. I’d call him a lying sack of shit, but that would be an insult to lying sacks of shit everywhere as well as a depressingly scrotal image.

I watched his presser and heard him shamelessly parse his words and do his best to erase the impression that he himself had planted: that he’d been a good boy since quitting Congress. While I think sending pictures of one’s junk to strangers is gross, tacky, and adolescent, that’s not my problem with the Danger Guy. My problem is with his incessant lying, which is egregious even by the low standards of today’s politcians. I wouldn’t believe anything that comes out of Weiner’s pie hole even if he were to tell me something that was manifestly true such as: Roger Maris hit 61 homers in 1961 or Rick Perry is an idiot. To say that Carlos Danger has no credibility is an understatement; something that he is not given to, understatement, that is.

I do not envy the voters of Noo Yawk who have to confront the possibility that a guy who is ickier than Giuliani, more narcissistic than Bloomberg, and crasser than Koch could be their next mayor. It might be wise to channel the co-star of Hellcats Of The Navy, Nancy Reagan, and just say no to Weiner.

I’m pretty sure that Weiner is in the race to stay so, in the spirit of helpfulness for which I’m known, here’s a slogan, free of charge:

Tweetin’ Ain’t Cheatin’

That is all.

Instant Update:Slate has a Carlos Danger name generator. Mine is Esteban Gamble. What’s yours?

8 thoughts on “The Year Of Living Carlos Dangerously

  1. adrastos says:

    Ooh, that’s a good un.

  2. jimintampa says:

    Not problem with the sexting, it’s that he’s promised to ‘rip up all the bike lanes.’ Now that’s a real dick move.

  3. MichaelF says:

    My Carlos Danger name is Ernesto Stealth.

  4. Dee Loralei says:

    My Carlos Danger name using just Dee LastName is Mateo Death. When I put in Dee Loralei LastName it’s Esteban Smash.

  5. Doc says:

    Julio Verboten. I might actually start posting under that name…

  6. Gummo says:

    I think Weiner is sleazy as fuck.
    BUT —
    today the Times, News and Post all called on him to drop out of the race.
    Anyone who’s opposed by the Times, News and Post can’t be all bad.

  7. mothra says:

    Weiner really has promised to rip up all the bike lanes? Yeah. Total Dick.

  8. joejoejoe says:

    Vote Leandro Peril. A chicken in every pants!

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