The Case Of The Cunning Canadian Conservative Urinator

Until Rob Ford appeared on the scene, Americans tended to think of Canadian politics as a bit on the dull and dry side. This story out of Toronto further disproves that belief:

Jerry Bance, who represented the riding of Scarborough-Rouge Park, has been officially dropped from the election campaign after a video of him urinating in a coffee cup surfaced, a spokesperson from the Conservative Party National Campaign office confirmed to Global News on Monday.

The incident occurred in 2012 while Bance was working as an appliance repairman and was recorded on video by CBC’s Marketplace program.

The show had set up the hidden cameras as part of a story into home repair companies.

Bance, who runs an appliance repair company, was recorded peeing in a coffee cup and pouring the contents down the kitchen sink.

“I am truly sorry about this recent incident.  A 30 second decision made 3 years ago can really change one’s life,” Bance said in an emailed statement to Global News.

“I had a health situation and needed to make an emergency decision, ironically to save myself from embarrassment back then.”

Bance called the incident a “lapse in judgement” that he deeply regretted, but added he has never knowingly lied to, cheated or disrespected anyone in his many years as a business owner.

“I have always been a hard-working person who loves this country and it saddens me that in spite of all my effort to serve this riding, all that is left is this negative impression,” he said.

“I have resigned as of this morning and do wish to thank the Conservative Party, my volunteers and my supporters.”

It’s not often that the best news of the weird story of the week comes out of Ontario but I nearly wet myself when I read this. Hey, at least he poured it into the sink instead of drinking it for his health like former Indian Prime Minister Morarji Desai. I’ll never forget the look on Dan Rather’s face when Desai elaborated on his pissy health theory in an interview with 60 Minutes.

Here’s the CBC story about the cunning Canadian Conservative urinator:

This story gives a whole new meaning to the Zappa lyrics, “Watch out where the huskies go and don’t you eat that yellow snow.” From now on I’ll think of Jerry Bance whenever I hear the song:

Great googly moogly.

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