Malaka Of The Week: Kirk Cousins

I’m pandering to my Packers fan friends with the featured image. It’s Minnesota Vikings QB Kirk Cousins being sacked by Green Bay’s Kenny Clark. That happened in 2019. In 2021, Kirk Cousins is busy sacking himself over the COVID vaccines. And that is why Kirk Cousins is malaka of the week.

It shouldn’t surprise anyone that many NFL players are anti-vaxxers. White pro footballers skew right politically. It wouldn’t surprise me if some of the burlier Dipshit Insurrectionists played football in their younger days.

That brings me to Vikings QB Kirk Cousins who was recently on the NFL’s reserve/COVID-19 list. He’s practicing again and has proposed a preposterous personal solution to the pandemic:

Ain’t nothing personal and private about the pandemic: 615,000 and counting Americans have died of COVID. That’s as public as it gets.

It turns out that the Vikings have one of the lowest vaccination rates in the NFL. It’s no surprise when their QB refuses to get jabbed. The QB is supposed to be a leader instead of following the anti-vaxx crowd.

In contrast to the team from the frozen North, my New Orleans Saints have one of the highest vaccination rates in the NFL according to GM Mickey Loomis:

The Saints entire coaching and front office staff has received a COVID vaccine, and they were one of the first NFL teams to reach the 85% vaccination rate among its roster. Loomis said the roster “will be well over 90%” vaccinated and he expressed hope the entire roster would be vaccinated at some point. The Saints are one of 14 NFL clubs to pass 90% vaccination rate, according to a recent NFL Network report. By hitting the 85% vaccination threshold, the Saints are allowed to loosen some of the COVID restrictions that were put in place last season.

This is no surprise. Head Coach Sean Payton had COVID last year and has been outspoken in support of getting jabbed. He doesn’t consider it a “personal and private” choice. It’s a matter of public health.

The “personal and private” line is becoming the “thoughts and prayers” of the pandemic. Instead of building some sort of plexiglass structure, it would be easier to get jabbed unless, that is, Kirk Cousins wants to be the Typhoid Mary of the NFL. That would give an entirely new meaning to the term Kissing Cousins. And that is why Minnesota Vikings QB Kirk Cousins is malaka of the week.

I wonder if the former Redskins QB has considered encasing himself in a bubble. It’s as impractical as a plexiglass box but has the virtue of allowing me to give Paul Simon the last word.