Malaka Of The Week: Andy Ogles

Andy Ogles and fellow lying malaka George Santos.

I haven’t written about the Talented Mr. Santos in six weeks. He first disgraced our space as malaka of the week in late December. I wonder how long it will be until Santos and Andy Ogles form a House Malakatude Caucus. And that is why Andy Ogles is malaka of the week.

Ogles is a freshman Republican Congresscritter from Tennessee. He’s yet another flamboyant wingnut from a state that once produced fine Democrats such as Estes Kefauver, Jim Sasser, and Albert Gore senior and junior. Tennessee was a swing state until Gore the younger lost it in 2000. If he had won his home state’s 11 electoral votes, he would have been elected president.

Back to Andy Ogles. I’ll try not to make any jokes about his last name but I don’t make promises I can’t keep.

The Ogles scandal started slowly. He lied about his background and resume to the voters:

“Nashville television station WTVF reported that Ogles — who was elected to the House in November and represents the newly configured 5th Congressional District of Tennessee —  misrepresented his background and qualifications, including having law enforcement experience and calling himself an “economist,” even though he took one college economics course that he barely passed. He’s also claimed that he helped handle “international sex crimes,” when in reality, he worked for a non-profit that helped combat human trafficking.”

After initial denials, he admitted to “embellishing” his resume. The Talented Mr. Santos used the same word. You say embellish, I say lie. Let’s call the whole thing off.

But Malaka Ogles was just getting warmed up.

WTVF teevee news in Nashville was just getting warmed up too. They’ve been all over Ogles like a cheap suit.

“A new day brings new stories from Congressman Andy Ogles as he attempts to explain away a controversial GoFundMe drive.

NewsChannel 5 Investigates first revealed how the Maury County Republican raked in tens of thousands of dollars following the loss of a child.

It was supposed to go for a children’s burial garden, but that never happened.

Instead of providing NewsChannel 5 with evidence of what he did with the money in advance of a story being published, Ogles waited until after the story broke, then he went on the attack with a statement that, in some cases, came up with brand new explanations.

Further investigation has now discovered that, contrary to Ogles’ claims that the nearly $25,000 given by donors were not enough to fulfill his dream, he could have purchased burial plots for needy families for $1,200 each, and two cemeteries say they were willing to work with him.

The questions revolve around a 2014 GoFundMe where Ogles used a photo of his stillborn baby to collect money for what he called Lincoln’s Place.”

I double checked to make sure Ogles actually lost a baby named Lincoln. I didn’t want any dirty looks from our readers…

We all thought the Santos scam involving a bogus dog rescue was disgusting. Andy Ogles topped him. He turned tragedy to trash by using it to scam people.

The Lincoln’s Place scam was aimed directly at Ogles’ fellow anti-abortion fanatics. They fell for it, then helped elect him to Congress 8 years later

Donald Trump must be proud of Andy Ogles. I concur with a great American toon’s assessment of Ogles:

Ogles went on the attack after the story aired but has never explained what he did with the money. Holy ill-gotten gains, Batman.

WTVF’s response was simple and elegant: “The congressman is just making this up.”

That goes for everything he’s said about pretty much everything since he entered public life. Holy Talented Mr. Santos, Batman.

Back to Ogles’ last name. This part of the Merriam-Webster Dictionary’s definition of ogle fits Malaka Andy like a greedy glove: “to look at especially with greedy or interested attention.”

Andy Ogles is greedy all right: greedy for money and votes. And that is why Congressman Andy Ogles is malaka of the week.

Ogles is more of a Tennessee Jerk than a Tennessee Jed, but the last word still goes to Grateful Dead followed by Levon Helm: