I’m feeling a bit punchy after this long and difficult year. Illness and electoral defeat take a lot out of a guy. Nobody wants to spend a lot of time pondering politics in the waning days of the year. It’s why Biden has gone quiet and past presidents like Regan and Obama kept a low profile during the holidays.
The Insult Comedian doesn’t understand the concept of overexposure, his name has to be constantly on the tip of everyone’s tongue or he pouts. It’s exhausting, y’all. I am, of course, guilty of writing about politics on the threshold of Christmas, but it’s what pundits do.
In the interests of holiday brevity, I’m reviving a format I used during the early stages of my extended illness. I tried one-liners but my verbosity got the better of me.
The featured image is of Shecky Greene in pugilistic mode. I’m emulating my nickname namesake and throwing a few punches this morning.
On with the Shecky show this is it:
I dig Timothy Snyder’s nickname for the Trump-Musk administration: The Mump Regime, which is supported by Mumpers and Mumpets. What do the Muppets think?
JD Vance has got to be jealous of Elon Musk: a mere millionaire cannot top a billionaire. I wish everyone would stop calling Trump a billionaire when he’s not one. He may, however, change that M to a B by January 2029 since looting the treasury is at the top of the Mump agenda.
Unlike the main Mumps, MAGA Mike understands that most Americans don’t want to ponder politics now. Hence the two budget deals, one of which was blown up by Musk just for the fun of it.
Trump’s nutty tariff plans are causing an uproar in Canada. Deputy PM and Finance Minister Chrystia Freedland has resigned because Justin Trudeau seems hell bent on appeasing Trump. That led the Insult Comedian to mock Trudeau as the Governor of Canada. Repeat after me: Appeasement never works.
Keir Starmer’s Labour government is experimenting with a lesser form of appeasement by appointing the wily and charming Peter Mandelson as Ambassador to the Court of Chaos.
Lord Mandelson was a senior adviser to Tony Blair and Gordon Brown. He’s so transactional that his nickname is the Prince of Darkness. Make that Lord Prince of Darkness.
President-elect Pennywise should ponder the fate of Bashar Al-Assad. Dictatorships never have happy endings. Who the hell wants to live out their days in exile in Moscow for fuck’s sake?
Finally, Congressional Democrats should stop flailing and start opposing the Mump regime more vigorously. A good start would have been making AOC the ranking member on the House Oversight Committee. She’s one of the most talented pols of her or any other generation. Snubbing her was a bad move.
A reminder: Notwithstanding MAGA spin, this is still a Fifty-Fifty country.
Repeat after me: Appeasement never works.
The last word goes to Frank Zappa and the Mothers: