It’s always gratifying to get positive feedback for a post. I received a lot of praise for this passage in my Bill Cassidy post:

Cassidy has criticized MAHA mania BUT he could have stopped it. So much for the Hippocratic oath. In Cassidy’s case, hypocritical oath is more like it.”

There is, of course, no such thing as a hypocritical oath but there should be. The MAGA movement is loaded with hypocritical hypocrites who are also lying liars.

While researching graphics, I was surprised by how many MAGA pirate images there are. It’s confirmation that we’re in the clutches of an adolescent administration loaded with cosplayers and conspiracists.

The FBI is currently led by arrested adolescent and podcaster, Kash Patel. He’s a man child who prizes social media posts above all else:

There was a photo taken of all the Five Eyes people, some of whom are nondisclosed, meaning their affiliation with the British intelligence service isn’t public. The Brits forwarded that picture as a keepsake for the individuals. They prefaced it with, This isn’t to be shared. But Kash has decided he wants to post it on social media. They have people trying to negotiate with the Brits about whether that’s possible. They’re fighting with the director’s office, like: You cannot post this. Do not do that. And they’re arguing, He wants a picture out.”

Did Kash hold his breath until he turned blue? Being a social media influencer is clearly more important than good relations with British intelligence. #sarcasm. We’re being led by adolescent idiots and hypocrites, make that misled.

That was a long ass introduction to the meat of the sammich: MAGA’S Hypocritical Oath. What follows is my attempt to codify MAGA malakatude. It’s not 100% inclusive because hypocrisy is their brand and they keep adding to the list.

MAGA’S Hypocritical Oath

I, Marvin MAGA, hereby swear my loyalty to the MAGA cult, which is headed by an Insult Comedian with a dead nutria pelt atop his head. I pledge to renounce all my previous beliefs in favor of whatever Donald Trump has on his mind at a given moment and to always agree with him. Yes men never say no.

Want some specific examples? Sure, why not? The snide commentary is mine, all mine.

I, Lindsey Graham, renounce my career as a hawk except when the Kaiser of Chaos gets an itchy trigger finger, then I revert to form. Bombs away, Donald.

I, JD Vance, pledge to press on with racist attacks against immigrants and people of color. Does it matter that I’m married to an Asian Pacific woman and we have three children? Hell, no. My words are more important than my deeds. That’s the essence of MAGA’S hypocritical oath.

I, Marco Rubio, renounce my views on NATO, US AID, and Trump’s small hands.

I, Kristi Noem, pledge to look cute on TV while lying my way through life. It’s the MAGA way.

I, Pam Bondi, pledge to violate legal ethical standards so POTUS can persecute his enemies. It’s the MAGA mean girl way.

I, Stephen Miller, pledge to keep feeding the boss Hitlerian language while crying foul when anyone calls me a Nazi. What’s more hypocritical than a Jewish Nazi?

I, Greg Bovino, pledge to strut around American cities like a storm trooper, Nazi, not Star Wars.

I, John Roberts, renounce my nice guy image in favor of channeling Sam The Sham Alito. What’s a little assholery among friends?

I, Susan Collins, am concerned about what’s going on, but I won’t do anything about it. Why? I’m afraid that Enrico Tarrio will slit my throat, that’s why. The Proud Boys give me the heebie jeebies.

I, Bill Cassidy, pledge to moan and whine about Bobby Junior’s policies as if I were an innocent bystander instead of a malevolent enabler.

I could go on and on, but you catch my drift. Hypocrisy is the essence of the MAGA movement. They don’t believe in anything, so why should anyone believe in them?

The last word goes to Jimmy Cliff: