I never watch the Insult Comedian’s speeches live. I tuned in assuming this one might generate some news. It did not. It was all bullshit and bluster served on a bed of lies. I obviously watch too much food TV for my own good.

The legacy media spent the last few days talking about “boots on the ground” a phrase I plan to never use again and hope to hear less frequently from the press. The phrase should be retired and put out to pasture. The same goes for the Kaiser of Chaos.

Trump looked bad and sounded worse. In 2016, he described Jeb Bush as a low energy individual. The 2026 model Trump could barely keep his eyes open as he rambled on and on, saying nothing we hadn’t heard before. What’s worse than a listless liar?

I’m irked that I wasted 20 minutes on this televised address lacking a destination or point, making it much like President Pennywise’s war of choice in Iran.

I was hoping for a full TACO (Trump Always Chickens Out) last night but a tacit TACO was on the menu. He claimed that the closing of the Strait of Hormuz was not our problem. It is, however, America’s responsibility but that’s not a word that’s in the Trumpian lexicon.

Donnie and Bibi’s excellent Iranian excursion led to the closing of the Strait. It was open to commerce before this fakakta war and is now controlled by Iran. If a shipper is willing to grease a Persian palm, they’re allowed through. A phrase I used as a merchant comes to mind: If you break it, you buy it. Instead, Trump expects people to buy his stale rhetoric. As far as I’m concerned tonight’s speech was a tacit Tehran TACO.

All this talk of tacos has made me hungry. Let’s listen to a taco tune before changing subjects:

Tacos tunes are rare but devils in human form are not, if you catch my drift.

The Insult Comedian became the first sitting president to attend a Supreme Court argument. It was a case SCOTUS should have never heard: Birthright citizenship. The language of the 14th Amendment, the legislative history, and precedent should have led to a shadow docket smackdown, but the court took the case out of a need to pander to Trump.

I didn’t listen to the argument. Solicitor General John Sauer sounds like Froggy from the Our Gang comedies. I’m more of an Alfalfa fan myself. Sauer sounds like he gargles with gravel before taking to the podium. In a word: Intolerable. But Mark Joseph Stern’s take on the oral argument at Slate is more than tolerable

This case is a loser. The vote should be unanimous but Sam the Sham Alito is besotted with his fellow Northeastern asshole. Even Clarence Thomas expressed some skepticism. It looks as if it will be a 7-2 vote but 8-1 isn’t out of the question. But I’m concerned about what sort of opinion will emerge from this court with Roberts likely to write for the majority. Expect concurrences up the wazoo. Stay tuned.

Trump’s attendance was yet another tired domination ritual from this tiresome wannabe dictator. Did he really think he’d scare his appointees straight by glaring at them? They’re judges, for fuck’s sake.

The featured image is of Chicken Little from a 1943 Disney cartoon: who among us doesn’t love a chicken taco? You may recall that Chicken Little is the cluck who thought the sky was falling. The roof is certainly falling in on Donald Trump who ran a white flag up the pole on his fakakta social media platform:

I’ll say one thing about the TACO man: He knows from stupid.

The last word goes to Louis Jordan: