If Tena and I Blogged A Public Flogging: Debate Vol. 3

Y’all know the drill by now: Me, plain. Tena, bold. Holden, filing later from his undisclosed location. Pie, partying over at the crack den. Let’s do the damn thing.

CNN pregame: The debate room has no windows and was lit by Joel Schumacher. That carpet hurts my eyes. Robert Novak hurts my ears and brain. I thought he was laid up. Nurse, nurse! Somebody needs his meds, STAT.

Good Morning America. Hork.

This is a very, very white group of undecideds. Take from that what you will.

Looking at the crowd, I have to say they look sane – how they hell could they still be undecided?

Big John, big smile. Uh oh. Bush looks chilled. Could be bad. John says something to him, probably, “I’m gonna eat you for breakfast.”

Blue tie/Red tie again – Ooh, there’s The Laura2000.

Bush looks belligerent. 87 billion again, confusing signal, the war, he’s repeating himself ALREADY. Heh.

Question from guy named Robin now: admitted Iraq no weapons mass destruction but justified retained the knowledge and intent do you sincerely believe this to be a real justification for invasion. Good question.

Bush: After 9/11 the world changed. He’s not answering this question, at ALL, and maybe I’m too partisan but he sounds like he’s reaching. unique threat. That’s new.

WMD, WMD, candy canes, elves. Oil for food. Robin doesn’t look sold. Robin looks bored, actually.

Shit, Bush looks wild-eyed. Ok, same old schtick, different package.

And Kerry turns to Bush and SHAMES him. Oh, God, am I seeing this? Is this good? I need another brain. Just threw the book at him.

Bush again with the smirk. Blinking. Blinkity blink blink.

Kerry looks like he’s pitying Bush. Bush sounds like he’s ranting now.

Right war, Osama. Good.

Bush is doing ok, admit it, y’all. Not on substance, but on style.

Hit him on incompetence again, John – he looks mad…

Bush just HUFFED. Like a schoolgirl. He looks enraged. He’s gonna meltdown.

Nikki: shocked at the intensity of aggravation in Europe at how we handled Iraq. What is your plan to repair relations? I ADORE Nikki. I want to marry her.

Bush: we have a great country. I love our values. Bush just compared himself to Reagan. Over to you, Ron Jr.

Bush sounds desperate. Desperate. You HAVE to believe me, Mom, I NEED that car this weekend.

Bush: I asked the generals do you have what it takes. What are they going to say to their BOSS, no, fuck you, we’re inept? No way.

Kerry: Military’s job is to win the war. President’s job is the win the peace. HOLY SHIT. Kerry 44, bitches.

Daniel Farley: Since we police the world. DRAFT QUESTION.

Bush: rumors on the INTERNETS. Plural. Kill me.

WTF – Kerry does things for political reasons? PROJECTION!

Promises all-volunteer army. We don’t need mass armies anymore. Your military voters will love to hear that.

In Korea, we massed troops. I know which Korea. Do you know, Mr. President? There’s two. TWO. He’s just blithering now.

POLAND!!! WHOO! When are they pulling out again?

Bush: I’m worried about our country. Yeah, so are we, fucko. PUt THAT in an ad, DNC. Do it NOW.

Goddamn – The War on Terra is about all brown people! Global conflict!!! ye gods.

Qustion from John Corsi: why block reimportation of drugs.

Bush: Worry, worry, worry, worry. He’s so worried. He’s so worried about our country. With a worrywart like him, so am I.

What makes you think you know what values are, you fucking nazi scum? Oh sweet jeebus, he winked at someone. Ok there you go.

Bush just cited a real person story, but he still sounds desperate and whiny. Post-debate spinners, do your work, dammit. IF I don’t hear DESPERATE as the word of the post-game, I’ll die. I just will die.

Bush is blinking and grimacing again. Karen’s gonna beat him black and blue tonight.

Bush just called him Senator Kennedy. Nice. Tax the rickh. Oh, okay. If you’re a partisan are you thinking this is believable? Somebody run over to freeperville and check, I”m not drunk enough yet.

Kerry: Only three who won’t benefit from my tax plan: President, me, and I’m sorry, Charlie, you.

Kerry just said FUZZY MATH!

Bush: he’s got a record. Look at the record of the man running for the president. We are, George. We are.

Ok John!!! batting 0 for 2 – Yes!!!.

Bush asked if his time was up, and Mr. Athenae just yelled, “Hell yes, motherfucker!”

Environmentalist queston: Bush flubs.

God should strike him dead right this very second for saying that: “I’m a Good Steward” Oh my fucking god – that just proves it, right there.

Kerry just made a Red Sox joke. And said labels don’t mean anything. I love him so much right now. I get it, people who have shrines to John Kennedy in their houses next to pictures of the pope. I GET IT.

ORWELLIAN. Hit him with the CHAIR! Bush just now is trying to figure out who Orwell played for.

Are they almost done? Why can’t this go on forever?

PATRIOT ACT question. Why are my rights being watered down? Good question.

Bush: In my world, they’re not. Okay.

Kerry’s beating on Ashcroft now. Great. Everybody thinks he sucks. This is in OUR country. Peopel allowed to go into churches now. WE need the things in it that coordinate the FBI And CIA but we also need is never let the terrorists change the consittution of the United States. GREAT POINT.

Question for Bush: Supreme Court: who would you choose and why.

Bush: I’m not tellin’. Nice. I want them all voting for me. Separation of powers much?

Dredd Scott – WTF?

I do wish Kerry’d take his jacket off, roll up his sleeves, loosen his tie. It would be yummy.

Sarah Degenhart: Abortion question. Tax dollars support abortion

Sweet – Big John mentioned us bad guys first – agnostics, atheists, etc…

Kerry: “Can’t take what is an article of faith for me and legislate it for somebody who doesn’t share that article of faith.” Oh, how long I have wandered in the desert hoping somebody would say that out loud.

Question for Linda: Three instances of a mistake and what you did to correct it.

He’s not gonna do it. He’s just not. He’s not goign to give examples. He’s ducking the question and going back to Iraq again, his worst issue. I don’t think he want to win this election. I really don’t.

He doesn’t think he’s made any mistakes.

He really doesn’t. And that’s it.

Here he goes – blah blah blah. *sigh* fucking little idjit. He’s still stooping over – it’s weird; he’s morphing into Nixon right before out eyes. It’s all lies, start to finish – fuck fuck fuck – have I mentioned that I hate these people?

A.