Stop Throwing Sand and Get Out Of The Box

Could we really, and I mean if we honestly put our backs into it, really go one week without somebody starting a stupid pissing match over whether we’re craven enough to appeal to the assholes who make up a large portion of the Republican constituency and everybody else rising to the bait? Honestly? I’m begging here.

Shut up, Amy. Yeah, yeah, yeah, your baloney has a first name. I don’t care if Amy learns the error of her ways or not. The entire argument is a horseshit waste of time and it’s distraction from what we really ought to be doing, and if we don’t learn right now to start ignoring this crap instead of wearing ourselves out repsonding to it with more than a “Oh, give me a fucking break” then we’ll be sitting here come 2006, wondering why our great arguments didn’t make it off our own blogs.

Digby says it best: “.. anybody who thinks that we can stop the Republicans from caricaturing us is fooling themselves. The key is for us to caricature them — and they are making it easy for us to do it if we have the guts.”

Well, if ifs and ans were pots and pans there’d be no need of tinkers, so I’m asking. WHERE ARE THE ATTACKS?

I want to know what the attack ads in 2006 say and I want to know right now.

Republicans: Too Extreme for America, with footage of the jugglers and snakehandlers outside Terri Schiavo’s hopsice, with footage of anti-abortion protesters screaming and holding up fetuses in jars.

Republicans: Destroying Social Security. Footage of grandma, stirring a can of Hormel on the one stove burner she can get to work, as Santorum’s flying monkey chant “hey, hey, ho, ho, social security has got to go!” and a picture of his rictus grin appears.

Republicans: Can’t Be Trusted. DeyLay’s greatest hits. The ballooning deficit. A house getting bulldozed. Republicans waste your money. A pile of money goes up in flames.

WHERE IN THE FUCK IS OSAMA BIN LADEN? Republicans, they can’t protect you. Osama’s lieutenants are still casing buildings. My husband works in a skyscraper. Bring a video camera over to my house, I’ll give you some footage. Republicans can’t keep me safe. Not me, not my family, not my friends. Osama’s still out there, and Bush doesn’t care. Footage of Bush scratching his ass.

Let’s run them in all 50 states in every single district where there’s a contested race. Let’s raise money for that and let’s start right now. Let’s argue over the best and loudest and harshest Democratic Veterans for Integrity we can come up with. Let’s hit them with the chair and then with the table and then with the typewriter. Let’s get Barbara Boxer on every morning show there is asking the host if Republicans are, in fact, too extreme. Let’s make TimmMeh stammer out an answer to that one and turn to the Catkiller and make him answer it, too. Catkiller, are Republicans in fact too extreme?

Let’s introduce the Abortion Reduction Act in Congress with Kerry giving a press conference and Hillary standing behind him and maybe Al Sharpton, just to get the press coverage of a call to double HUD funding and child care subsidies and open 25 free prenatal clinics in the reddest of the red states. Let’s ask why abortion rates went up under Bush and let’s talk about if you want to get rid of abortion, if that’s your kink, then these are the people you vote for, motherfucker, the people who voted for the Abortion Reduction Act.

Let’s then put the faces of every Republican who expresses opposition to this on billboards and on fliers that say “Why do Republicans want more abortions?” and post them in every Catholic church and mail them to every priest. I’ll help. I swear I’ll stick stamps on anything you ask.

Democrats. Footage of FDR. Democrats. Footage of JFK. Democrats. Veteran after Veteran including Kerry because goddammit, a lot of people voted for him and not one of them should be ashamed of it. Democrats. Ticker tape parades for soldiers coming home from World War II. Democrats. Barack Obama’s hotness. Democrats. The loveliness of Patty Murray. Labor leaders and women’s suffragists and soccer moms. Democrats.

Let’s put Oliver Willis’ Brand Democrat on billboards in Nebraska and Mississippi. I’ve got $20. It’s my last $20, but I’m ready to give it for something like that. I’m ready to hit as hard as they are. I’m ready to ride out the six months of “is this going too far?” moralizing and clucking from the likes of Amy and Peter Beinart and James Carville and whoever else, and Lieberman on Russert and whatever. And after that’s over, after the hen party has packed up and gone home, I’m ready to win.

The moral high ground in a swamp is still a swamp. Time to change the subject.

A.

ETA: I’m not trying to hack on Steve. I heart Steve. His smackdowns of Amy are right on the money. I’m just trying to say, honestly, I’m so tired of Democrats justifying themselves. We don’t have to, and Amy should shut up, not the other bloggers. Christ. More coffee.