Your President Speaks!

From Holden:

OK, so the White House has posted the transcript of Chimpy’s chat with a large-screen TV this morning. Such delicious comedy.

First, let’s get the “gots” out of the way.

We got a strategy, and it’s a clear strategy.

You just got to know the American people are proud of you.

Next, I wonder if Jenna somehow replaced her dad for this question.

And so, like — I mean, and so the vote is in less than 48 hours — or about 48 hours, I guess. And so how do you — how would — are you confident?

Now for this classic bit where Chimpy throws one of Our Troops! so far off her script that she attacks North Central New York.

SERGEANT LOMBARDO: Good morning, Mr. President. I’m Master Sergeant Corine Lombardo, with the Headquarters 42nd Infantry Division and Task Force Liberty, from Scotia, New York. First, I’d like to say that this is a pleasure to speak with you again. We had the honor of your visit in New York City on November 11th, in 2001, when you recognized our Rainbow Soldiers for their recovery and rescue efforts at Ground Zero.

THE PRESIDENT: Were you there?

SERGEANT LOMBARDO: We began our fight against terrorism in the wake of 9/11, and we’re proud to continue it here in North-Central New York — North-Central Iraq.

THE PRESIDENT: Let me ask you something. Were you there when I came to New York?

SERGEANT LOMBARDO: Yes, I was, Mr. President.

THE PRESIDENT: I thought you looked familiar.

SERGEANT LOMBARDO: Well, thank you.

THE PRESIDENT: I probably look familiar to you, too.

SERGEANT LOMBARDO: Yes, you do, Mr. President. I can tell you over the past 10 months we’ve seen a tremendous increase in the capabilities and the confidences of our Iraqi security force partners. We’ve been working side-by-side, training and equipping 18 Iraqi army battalions. Since we began our partnership, they have improved greatly, and they continue to develop and grow into sustainable forces. Over the next month, we anticipate seeing at least one-third of those Iraqi forces conducting independent operations.

THE PRESIDENT: That’s important. The American people have got to know — and I appreciate you bringing that up, Sergeant Major, about how — what the progress is like. In other words, we’ve got a measurement system —

SERGEANT LOMBARDO: Well, together —

THE PRESIDENT: I’m sorry, go ahead.

SERGEANT LOMBARDO: I’m sorry, just, together with our coalition forces, we’ve captured over 50 terrorists, as well as detained thousands of others that have ties to the insurgency. And I believe it is these accomplishments and the numerous accomplishments from our task force that will provide a safe and secure environment for the referendum vote.

And finally, Sgt. Miers Akeel has something to say.

THE PRESIDENT: Yes. Sergeant Akeel, thanks for joining us. I appreciate — appreciate your service. You’ve got something to say, Akeel?

SERGEANT AKEEL: Good morning, Mr. President. Thank you for everything. Thank very much for everything.

THE PRESIDENT: Yes, you’re welcome.

SERGEANT AKEEL: I like you. (Laughter.)

THE PRESIDENT: Well, I appreciate that.