Today on Holden’s Obsession with the Gaggle

From Holden:

Now that my six-day birthday celebration has ended I need to get back to the importance of obsessing on the gaggle

First up, the president’s complete foreign policy failure in regards to North Korea: Pony Blow blames The Clenis™…

Q Tony, it was four years ago that President Bush labeled North Korea a member of the axis of evil. But under the President’s watch, you have — North Korea has increased its nuclear arsenal. You’ve got it abandoning the six-party talks, and now these missile tests are going on. What do you say to Americans, how do you convince them that this is not a policy that is basically a failure?

MR. SNOW: Well, let me — it’s an interesting question.

Q What can you point to that actually shows that any of the U.S. objectives have been met?

MR. SNOW: Let me put it this way. Let me quibble with your assumption beforehand. North Korea also had talked to the previous administration, which had put together an agreed framework that was designed to ensure that there would be no nuclear development. It was this administration that discovered that nuclear development and brought it directly to the attention of the North Koreans. It was this administration that also, working with our allies, brought the North Koreans to the table for the six-party talks.

…and it’s the responisiblity of the press corps to resolve the crisis created on Chimpy’s watch.

MR. SNOW: Look, what do you want me to say? Do you think that there is some special way to sort of send a secret message and Kim Jong-il suddenly is going to practice rationality. If so, we’d love to hear it, and we’ll accept all suggestions.

Even in death, Chimpy denies his good friend Ken Lay.

Q One other quick question. What has been the President’s reaction to the death of Ken Lay?

MR. SNOW: I really haven’t talked to him about it. I’ll give you my own personal reaction, which is when somebody dies you leave behind those who grieve and I think they deserve our compassion. But I don’t know, what do you think would be the appropriate thing to say?

Q I don’t know. I don’t know him. The President was his friend, not me.

MR. SNOW: No, the President has described Ken Lay as an acquaintance, and many of the President’s acquaintances have passed on during his time in office. Again, I think — it’s sort of an interesting question, but not answerable by me.

And what would the gaggle be without Les Kinsolving’s particular brand of silliness.

Q Yes, two questions, Tony. National security studies professor Bob Zelnick of Boston University has just detailed the 1942 Chicago Tribune’s reporting of the top secret U.S. breaking of the Imperial Japanese code, which came only months after President Roosevelt, during a news conference, awarded the Iron Cross to another reporter after The Tribune published another top secret contingency plan for getting U.S. troops to Europe. And my question: Has President Bush considered any al Qaeda or other terrorist group award to The New York Times, or does he believe the Attorney General is preparing legal action against that newspaper?

MR. SNOW: We will leave awards to the journalistic community, which will come up with what awards and plaudits they deem appropriate. As for —

Q Do you think that President Roosevelt was wrong?

MR. SNOW: As for prosecutions, that is something that independent prosecutors must decide. The White House is not going to hand down an edict saying “investigate this.” You leave it in the hands of independent investigators and prosecutors to come to their own determinations.

Q But you’re not suggesting that President Roosevelt was wrong to pin the Iron Cross on that reporter, are you?

MR. SNOW: I’m just not interested in even talking about it. (Laughter.)