Not Bloody Likely

Clifford MayDavid Frum [whoops! wrong wingnut] has a suggestion for the president.

No Oval Office, no big desk. Have the president stand in the Map Room, the room on the ground floor of White House in which Franklin Roosevelt reviewed strategy with his generals…

Hang a map of Baghdad on one wall. A map of Iraq on another. Have the president stand between them with a laser pointer. Let him show where the sectarian fighting in the city is occurring, let him detail where US troops are currently deployed. Then he can explain the new plan: Where the extra troops would go, what they would do, where the new checkpoints would be placed, how the city would be cleared, how it would be held.

No flowery language, no hazy generalities. Detail, detail, detail — to assure the American people that their commander-in-chief has thought this plan through and has reason to believe that it can and will work.

Uh, Dave — this is George Bush we’re talking about here.

You know, Chimpy?

The Deciderer.

The guy who almost choked to death on a pretzel during his first month of office (proving that there is no god)..

He can’t handle a small dog, who is he going to handle a map and pointer?

Give it up, Dave. The rest of the country already has

12 thoughts on “Not Bloody Likely

  1. Hokay, thees gato ees obviously to excited to type, and must needs go get some gato-nip, and then maybe a gato-nap.
    yo disculparse.

  2. Noice!
    But they’ve moved it from the Map Room to the Library.
    Because Bush is all about books.

  3. Holden, you and Sadly, No! need to sort out your Cornerites. They’re claiming that the “maps and laser pointers” idea is David Frum’s.
    Oh, and wasn’t “detail where US troops are currently deployed” what got Geraldo un-imbedded and booted from Iraq?
    Jason_(no longer)in_Amishville

  4. I like it.
    “We’re based in the Green Zone, which is this little part right here. Sectarian fighting is taking place here, here, here, here, here, here and here. Oh, and also here. And there was an explosion over here this morning. And the place where they keep finding bodies with drill holes in their heads is over here. Did I mention here? Well, here too. This is the road to the airport, which we can mostly travel safely these days. And this is Sadr City, which is home to one of the big militias. We’ll be deploying troops here, here and here to seal it off, so we can go in and clear it out, unless of course Prime Minister al-Maliki, who is closely allied with the leader of the militia, tells us to move, like he did the last time.”
    It would be fun. But I don’t think they’d let Shrub have a laser pointer. He’d put his eye out.

  5. //The guy who almost choked to death on a pretzel during his first month of office (proving that there is no god)..//
    Eh, I’m not so sure about that parenthetical part. Because if he had died, we would have had President Cheney during 9/11, the war would have happened anyway, and we would probably all be dead right now. (Granted, Cheney is amazingly even less popular than Bush, but I doubt things would have changed any faster or turned out any better.
    What we needed was a giant sentient pretzel which went on a giant Godzilla-esque rampage. Oh well.

  6. He’s correct — this would go a long way towards improving Bush’s image. The problem is, Bush takes advice from no one. He has no interest in detailing his plans, because he has none. A year ago he promised a detailed plan for success in Iraq, but then he offered more of the same generalities.
    If he honestly followed Frum’s plan, he’d put a big map of Iraq on the wall, circle it with his laser pointer and say “Here’s the part of the world that I’m going to stay clear of until January 2009.” Then he’d laser-point his way over to a map of Texas and say “Here’s where I’m going to high-tail it to once I’ve run out the clock on my second term and this whole Iraq fiasco.”

  7. i guess the oval office desk makes him look small? can’t they use a phone book or something?

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