Your President Speaks!

Yesterday, at Fort Benning, Georgia.

Return of the Pothole Joke

I appreciate the Mayor of Columbus, Georgia, Mayor Wetherington. Mr. Mayor, thank you for being here. Thanks for coming. (Applause.) Mayor Hardin, of Phenix City, Alabama has joined us. Mr. Mayor, appreciate you coming. I know you didn’t ask, neither of the Mayors asked, but sometimes I like to remind them, just go ahead and fill the potholes. I’m not suggesting there are any, it’s just my advice.

Please Pass The Peace and Carrots

There’s a lot of history here at Fort Benning, Georgia. A lot of folks have left this base to defend freedom and pass the peace.

Reality Is A Bitch

I believe that 2005 would have been a — we would have completed a lot of the mission and that would had been training the Iraqis so they would be in the lead, that they would be in a position to uphold the wishes of the 12 million people that voted. In spite of the remarkable progress, 2006 turned out differently than I had anticipated.

Any One In Particular?

Al Qaeda and foreigners and radicals took action trying to spur sectarian violence. They bombed holy — important holy site, they killed innocent people, and they were effective at spawning sectarian violence.

It’s Tempting To Understand

It’s important for our citizens to understand that as tempting as it might be, to understand the consequences of leaving before the job is done, radical Islamic extremists would grow in strength.


The commanders on the ground in Iraq, people who I listen to — by the way, that’s what you want your Commander-in-Chief to do. You don’t want decisions being made based upon politics, or focus groups, or political polls. You want your military decisions being made by military experts.

Drain Bamage

And there needs to be a bigger presence because, in the past, we would go in with Iraqis and clear a neighborhood of extremists and terrorists, and then there wouldn’t be enough troops to hold the neighborhood. So our kids would do a lot of hard work, and insurgents and terrorists and killers would generally not want to engage our troops — probably a pretty smart decision on their part. But when they did, they would find justice, and then we’d go on to another assignment, and they’d come back in the neighborhood.

Mental Stutter

And so our commanders looked at the plan and said, Mr. President, it’s not going to work until — unless we support — provide more troops. And so last night I told the country that I’ve committed an additional — a little over 20,000 more troops, five brigades of which will be in Baghdad.

No Damn Geneva Interferin’

I asked General Casey, can we accomplish that mission? He said, you bet, we can accomplish that mission. It’s got enough troops to accomplish the mission. But one other thing must happen — that our troops and Iraqi troops must have proper rules of engagement. In other words, there can’t be politics interfering with the action of our troops.

The Return of Drain Bamage

It’s important for our troops to hear, and it’s important for the American people to know, this is new. This is something different that enables the military folks to predict that we will succeed in helping quell sectarian violence in Baghdad.

Plain Talkin’ From A Plain Idiot

The Prime Minister and I have had some plain talking.

That’s the “Stupid” Part of “Stupid Asshole”

I was telling the General we’ll double the number of provincial reconstruction teams; our commanders and civilians will have greater flexibility to spend money on the ground. For those of you who have been there, it’s called CERP money. You know it’s an effective tool to help part of the “build” part of “clear” — build and hold.

Projection, Thy Name Is Chimpy

They’re totalitarians. You do it this way, or else, is their attitude about government. They don’t believe in freedoms, like freedom to worship. I, frankly — well, speaking about religion, these are murderers. They use murder as a tool to achieve their objective. Religious people don’t murder. They may claim they’re religious, but when you kill an innocent woman, or a child to create a political end, that’s not my view of religion.

No Articles For Me, Please

They want safe haven, and they’ve chosen Anbar as their place to achieve safe haven.

Nothing Succeeds Like It

I understand the consequences of failure; they’re not acceptable. And so I thought long and hard how best to succeed. That’s what I’m interested in, is success. The American people are interested in success. And I laid out a plan that is our best chance for success.

Damn, That’s Good Blow

The best way to defeat the totalitarian of hate is with an ideology of hope — an ideology of hate — excuse me — with an ideology of hope. It matters whether or not people are resentful in the Middle East.

6 thoughts on “Your President Speaks!

  1. He understands the consequences of failure? How? When has he ever suffered those consequences himself?

  2. There has been no failure here! But success beyond wildest expectations, Haliburton stock is through the roof !

  3. The best way to defeat the totalitarian of hate is with an ideology of hope
    Some people call me the Pompatus of Love.

  4. Think about it: this man we are forced to refer to as our president, likes nothing better than to be out in his back yard, cutting brush. He is perhaps a gardener…Chance the Gardener? Has anyone see ole Chance lately?

  5. “They use murder as a tool to achieve their objective”
    Whereas we only liberate hundreds of thousands Iraqis from this mortal coil in order to steal their oil and plant permanent bases on their soil.
    Totally different thing.

  6. “There’s a lot of history here at Fort Benning, Georgia. A lot of folks have left this base to defend freedom and pass the peace.”
    Not to mention that it houses the infamous “School of the Americas” – the place where we train foreign dignitaries on how to do clandestine operations. See Noriega. Don’t know about Sadam, but it would be very likely that he took his undercover-blowin-up-things course there also.

Comments are closed.