For old times’ sake. Her not being there hurts like a rug burn.
Here’s a reason: Helo tosses and turns, in bed, unable to sleep, full of strange sensations. The main one is that his skin is being hollowed out from the inside by a mysterious party — let’s just call him Michael Angeli — for the purposes of putting on his gigantic awesome body like a skin suit, and walking around inside a world not unlike the world of Battlestar we’ve come to know. This Helo Suit looks like Helo, wants to hug you like Helo, is silently grim and put upon like Helo, and takes off its clothes a good deal more than Helo normally does, which is nice of the Helo Suit; but the most interesting thing about the Helo Suit is its curious power of turning everybody around it into a total asshole, acting entirely out of character and speaking in stilted language, in order to bring the Helo Suit closer and closer to sainthood. That’s a weird power for a skin suit to have, don’t you think? I guess it all depends on who’s wearing it. I guess that’s what we’ve gotta figure out. Now, I don’t know anything about Michael Angeli, if by “know” you mean “base my perceptions and opinions on verifiable fact and personal experience.” But if you think for one hot second that you can’t learn a lot about a person from the stories they tell, you need to go back to People School.
I want to take up a collection to get Angeli laid, so that he can stop writing crap like that ep and parts of this one.
The good: BADGER! I love the actor, I love the sunglasses and the kleptomania, I love the way he gamed Lee because Lee’s all about the rules and the rebellion, I love the accent. I hate this tendency to invent funky new guest-starry characters instead of playing with the good ones we have, like the stupid racist asshole doc in The Woman King, but if you’re going to do it, this is a fun way to do so.
Starbuck’s file, harkening all the way back to the miniseries when she slugged Tigh and I fell in love for the very first time.
More screentime for Tory. She’s totally a Cylon, but she’s an awesome Cylon.
Sam. SAM. He loved Starbuck the best. He knew all about her and he loved her not in spite of her faults but in some fucked up way BECAUSE of them, and I love him for it, drunk and yelling on top of a Viper. He and Starbuck coped in ways I can understand.
Baltar being even squirrellier than usual. After a few months in a cell with the light changes and guards fucking with him and “please disturb” kind of Gina-treatment going on, he’s licking the walls.
Caprica, and the show remembering that she dumped him, not the other way round. I’m surprised it wasn’t made more explicit that she is, in fact, the only one on the ship that could exonerate Baltar and she hasn’t given that up to anybody yet.
I am soooo looking forward to the big chewy mess that is going to be the Trial of the Century.
Now, on to the bad: The return of Lee’s Daddy issues. I get that he isn’t over it, but can we at least have SOME character development from, again, the miniseries? It’s like these eps exist in a weird world all their own, wherein Lee’s a lot dumber than he normally is, and Adama’s Bad Daddy and Roslin’s like a teacher hitting him with the naughty stick and the whole thing just pisses me off. I would have loved to see the two of them nurse each other through this, instead of chewing on scenery.
The tendency to throw characters in a room together and stop all possible action so that they can Talk About What’s Really Going On. Yeah, Cally, I’m looking at your shrill sermon about the whole “we’re destroying ourselves, the Cylons won’t have to destroy us, etc etc,” like, WOW I DIDN’T GET IT UNTIL NOW THANK YOU SHOW FOR EXPLAINING IT TO MY DUMB ASS.
The long speeches that again basically boil down to “women are making us soft and weak and should just fold the fucking laundry and quit screwing with our minds.” There is nothing romantic about suffering. You do not get a medal for having the most special pain in the world, LEE, and Romo Lampkin (ugh, name), same deal, surviving a relationship that sucks is not something anybody on board fucking Battlestar Galactica is gonna give you a cookie for.
Helo was like Starbuck’s best friend next to Boomer. Couldn’t we have had just slightly, very slightly, less time with Baltar’s Shiny New Lawyer (sexy and fun though he was) and some time with Helo?
Bring on the courtroom drama.