Ever hear that joke about waterboarding? How about the one about killing Iranians? And why is Chelsea Clinton so ugly?
If you aren’t familiar with those witty japes, then you’ve missed out on John McCain’s lighter side. Rooted in a time before there was political correctness, and before there was the “South Park” backlash against political correctness, McCain’s wisecracking persona is cutting at times, self-deprecating at others, and always amused by the political process swirling around him. Even in his pursuit of the White House, the candidate has — sometimes to the dismay of his handlers — managed to keep his sense of humor.
I wouldn’t say we’vemissed those brilliant comic stylings, Ben. In fact, I think I could probably live a pretty happy life, the onerous demands of being a decent person notwithstanding, without missing for one second John McCain’s sparking repartee.
Fuck me blind. And then it gets worse:
Earlier in his political career, the Arizona press reported that he’d cracked a rape joke that would now probably end any politician’s career, a joke his aides then and now say he doesn’t recall making.
Oh, sure, now it would end his political career, so it’s a good thing he said itback then, before all the liberals pussified us by making us treat women like human beings.
Besides, John McCain is manly and strong:
To McCain’s friends and supporters, the humor is a mark of his authenticity. To his detractors, some of the jokes are offensive and out of touch with contemporary mores. What’s undeniable, though, is that the humor, with its political risks and, to some, its charm, is intrinsic to John McCain. He is a man of a certain generation, with a machismo forged from his experience as a Navy pilot and an aviator, a candidate who is more comfortable in his own skin than with a teleprompter.
I think I just threw up a little in my mouth.
But guys! The jokes are funny to the backwards-ass mouthbreathing fuckwits he’s telling them to!
McCain hasn’t toned down the jokes, which often play better with the audiences at his town halls than when snipped out and recycled on YouTube, as was the case in an incident in which he — in jest — referred to a young man who asked about his age as “you little jerk,” before telling him, “You’re drafted.”
Emphasis mine, because once again, it’s the Internets’ fault! Damn you, YouTube!
And it’s hard out here for a pimp now that you can’t demean people with less power in order to make your pathetic ass feel like a big man:
“The world has changed,” former Sen. Kerrey said. “It’s a lot harder to tell jokes than it used to be.”
I so hate this argument, by the way. “It’s a generational thing, being a sexist, racist prick. That used to be okay! Now it’s not! Who can keep up?” I have older male friends and I had a grandfather and you know, not one of them ever picked on the political equivalent of the weaker kid in order to look cool for the room and then blamed it on his age bracket. And to basically say, “My generation is full of jackholes because nobody was there to stop us” is just about the most offensive thing you could say about your contemporaries. Besides a rape joke or two, that is.