Covering Their Asses

That’s all they’re doing:

Raise your hand if, in the past six months, you’ve seen an entire episode of Hardball devoted to discussing our “troubled economy,” the sad state of America’s transportation infrastructure, the failings of our educational system, the never-ending war in Iraq, or the “uncertain American economic future.”

Matthews claimed those are the key issues that face our country and, by implication, are what are important to this campaign. Yet Matthews hosts a cable news program that pretty much refuses to discuss those issues.

It’s total ass-covering. Come the hell on. All they’re really doing is saying “this isn’t important” so they can claim to be above it all and powerless in the face of what “the American people” want to talk about, while simultaneously claiming the overarching awesomeness of their Pundit Hive Cock. Honestly, this is one step above the kid in third grade, or the neighbor one house over, leaning over to you and saying, “Now I hate to gossip, but GOSSIP GOSSIP GOSSIP.” It’s a disclaimer: This isn’t important, but we’re gonna talk about it anyway, only now that we’ve SAID it’s not important, you can’t tar us with any kind of responsibility for it.

This is a cousin of the critter that is claiming you don’t want to write about X but it’s a “phenomenon,” or it’s “out there” or it’s “on the Internet.” It’s basically announcing that despite working for a 24-HOUR NEWS NETWORK you’re too big a pussy to own up to your own editorial decisions. I would have much more respect for Tweety if the little punk would just say, “Look, this lipstick and pig shit is funny and it’s cute and we covered it because it’s easy.”

What I aggressively do not want is some pretentious news twink like Tweety claiming to be oh so confounded that we just don’t cover the important issues while being in, shall we say, A COMPLETE AND TOTAL PERFECT POSITION TO COVER IMPORTANT ISSUES. Better that Tweety be what Tweety is, completely and without obfuscation, than that he pretend to be something he’s not and shove the responsibility for what he is off onto people who, last I checked, didn’t exactly vote on his programming decisions. Just sack up, already, and be honest.

Schmuckery via the Crack Den.


3 thoughts on “Covering Their Asses

  1. Why can every jackhole local radio talk show pull up information on the Google in 15 seconds related to a discusion of anything under the sun but the 24-hour cable news networks rely on a pundit’s ability to have a metawank over every topic under the sun sans fucking hard data? It’s like inverse omniscience. When local radio jocks want to know the name of the oversexed actress on that show with Tony Danza, no not Taxi the other one, not Judith Light, no not Alyssa Milano you pervs, her grandmother…bingo…they find that info in 15 seconds — Katherine Helmond. How hard is it to use the Google?
    I was curious to find out how much of Obama’s platform you could fund with the $85 billion spend to bail out AIG and I found the cost of his health care plan, college tuition plan, and jobs plan in about 1 minute total*. Why does it seem like that’s 1 minute more than half the press spends in a year looking up policy data that isn’t spoonfed to them by the McCain campaign?
    * – all of that good shit Obama wants to do costs less per year than the total cost of the AIG bailout

  2. JJJ, it isn’t just the willful ignorance and inability to use Teh Google.
    They are doing news 24 fucking hours a day, and they can cover ONE thing. That’s it. And that one thing is usually local news. Economy crumbling? Iraq progressing BEYOND massive fail? Look at this awesome autistic kid the Coast Guard saved after 15 hours, or whatever the fuck it was I was subjected to while in a waiting room at the hospital.
    And I know, covering a bunch of stories, in depth, doing actual journalism, that would be expensive, and we can’t have that, but still.
    A is right – if Tweety would just preface every show with “I’m a fucking lazy tool” and go from there, at least it would be more honest.

  3. If the TV news channels actually did do serious journalism, and actually did cover the major problems facing our country now, wouldn’t they just be airing a massive pro-Obama commercial? You know they would. And, that is why it wont be done. Anyone with knowledge of and appreciation for facts will vote for Obama. But, the corporations that run this country don’t want that to happen. So, we get to see CNN reporters wading in water in Texas – Damn, I didn’t know hurricanes involved water, did you?

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