To You, Sir, I Apologize


For what I am about to do, sir, forgive me.

Okay, people.

So, we all knowJohn McCain is as full of shit as a Christmas turkey, right? 

Well, the icing on the cake is this “John McCain invented the BlackBerry” shit. But why, you may ask, does this involve Mr. Gore?

Because the zombie lie about “Al Gore said he invented the Internet” will never go away. It’s something people “know,” and it’s an easy (i.e., lazy) press narrative. So what do we do? Start saying “Oh, yeah. John McCain invented the BlackBerry like Al Gore invented the Internet.” Or “Maybe McCain and Gore can get together at the Inventor’s Club and come up with something even better!” I know it sucks, and it’s not fair. But Mr. Gore already has a Nobel Prize; I think he’ll be alright.

Keeping crazy-ass John McCain out of the White House is priority one. I’m sure Mr. Gore would understand that sometimes, you gotta take one for the team.

So, John McCain and Al Gore walk into a bar.

The bartender says, “What’ll it be?”

John McCain says, “We just invented a great drink–it’s called beer. Give us two.”

10 thoughts on “To You, Sir, I Apologize

  1. I think Mr. Gore also has a sense of humor, which counts a lot when you’re dealing with stuff like this.
    One question, though:
    When John McCain invented the Blackberry, why didn’t he design it so he could actually use one (you know, accessibility, ADA and all that)?
    What a selfless hero he must be!

  2. You’re never going to undo The Narrative, so you may as well use it when it does you some good.

  3. McClone invented the Blackberry because his war injuries prevent him from using a traditional keyboard. He was a POW, or hadn’t you heard?

  4. Hee hee! And to be sure, Jude, you are partially right – McCain IS old enough to have been around to help create beer! 😉
    Elspeth
    (I still have a school-girl’ish crush on Gore!)

  5. Actually, Al Gore DID invent the internet. The old arpanet was a closed government, military, research, government contractor network. Al Gore opened it to anyone who could pay for a connection. That made a huge difference. The arpanet could have continued indefinitely as a closed network, and it is unlikely that the free wheeling public, fortune making internet would have arisen on its own. (I’ve been on the arpanet and internet since 1973, so I’ve been following it a bit).
    A good counter-example is Dan Quayle and satellite imaging. In the 1970s, it was possible to buy government satellite images for a bit over the cost of the magnetic tape plus shipping. You could get a 40m resolution square of landscape for maybe $100. Not cheap, but you could build a business model on it. Quayle was put in charge of satellite imaging, and decided to turn it into a business charging thousands of dollars for the same data. Demand plummeted, even as hardware for processing the data got cheaper. Quayle effectively squelched what could have been an entire business sector paying all sorts of wages and taxes.
    It took Google, and its internet based billions, to reopen the satellite imagery market. They give it away free along with a free GIS, and they make money selling ads with it. When you consider the temptations of the two models, open and closed, the closed model tends to look like the sure thing. Of course, the open model tends to outperform it massively. I think there was something about casting one’s bread upon the water.

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