I Apologize For What I’m About To Do

But I can’t not share with you the commercial that plays during EVERY football game here, at least nine times a quarter:

Why are all local car commercials universally of the suck? This is a particularly egregious example but there’s a remarkable uniformity to the shittiness of production values, ineptitude of spokespeople and general assiness of appearance in these things that crosses locations, brands, etc. Do they all get together in one place each year and say, “Let’s make something so horrendously annoying that while it accomplishes the aim of having people talk about it, it will also inspire them to give our dealerships the finger every time they drive by?” What? Help me out here.


9 thoughts on “I Apologize For What I’m About To Do

  1. Heh. Damn near everyplace it’s godawful car commercials. In Texas, it was Cal Worthington Chevrolet AND Mac from Gallery Furniture:

    And I cannot TELL you how happy I am that the Stereo Warehouse went out of bizness:

  2. Ok I won’t complain about the Team Mazda ads here any longer.
    That’s a staggering level of suckitude you’ve got there, A.
    I don’t live in Wisconsin, and I will NEVER buy a KIA, based upon that alone.

  3. OMG that was awful. I actually put my hands in front of my face and had to bring them down to finish watching it. Not sure I’ve ever actually cringed from a dealership commercial before.
    Here in St. Louis we have Becky’s carpets…

  4. mdh — now THAT was quality parody! Thanks for the biggest LOL I’ve had all week.
    The alien civilizations homing in on our TV waves are giving us a wide berth for a reason.

  5. You know why they suck (being in the car business for 35 years I know this)? Because:
    1. The owner of the business is too cheap to hire a real production company and uses the faclilities of the local cable company.
    2. The owner of the business thinks he’s the next Jay Leno and believeseverybody wants to see his stupid schtick (that he rolls out for his family on the holidays) on TV.
    3. The owner’s family wants their 15 minutes and he demands his wife, children, the whole fan damily appear in said commercial althoughnone of them haveany acting ability.
    Each alone, or all together are the perfect recipe for a shitty commercial. When you watch them, laugh (what I do) and pray you don’t have to work for the assholeevery damned day!

  6. As a radio/tv voice over guy, I can tell you first hand that all car commercials are BS. Many times I’d get copy with price points that had no relationship with reality.
    Most of the time spent on copy was seeing how far we could push the limit regarding consumer price laws etc.
    In fact there were times that we made them up/corrected them in the session. Regarding “talent”: Most car dealers are egoistical a-holes who indeed as a previous poster pointed out believe that they are the next Leno or at a minimum Larry the cable guy.
    About the “disclaimer”:
    The part of the commercial that is sped up to 100x speed and is buried in the music bed. To cut to the chase all disclaimers could say “Everything you are about to hear or just heard is complete BS” that would sum it up perfectly.
    On last thing. Why would you buy car whose name is an acronym for “Killed In Action”?

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