How the World Actually Works

Awful. Just awful. And from the comments:

I remember my wife, foggy with sedation after the final procedure,
being helped from the exam table. He had her sit up and put her arms
around his neck, and then he lifted her into a wheelchair. “You give
good hugs” she whispered. He paused just for a moment. “You’re just
fine,” he told her.

I’ve been on intimate terms with the fertility-medical-gynecological complex for going on three years now, and I have to say, never in my life have I met more tone-deaf compassionless sexist assholes than in that time. I’m not kidding, the meanness and stupidity and judgmental dickitude is constant and egregious. This at a time when you’re either pregnant or trying to get that way, being shot full of hormones and given well-meaning advice by every fucking busybody on the planet, so really, you’d think people would be gentle and kind. BUT NO.

This isn’t just my experience, everybody I know has had at least one episode of professional dumbassery so profound it makes me want to bang my head against the wall. I’ve been seeing like eight doctors and there’s only one of them I can remotely stand, and that’s just because he barely speaks. And I’m a relatively run-of-the-mill patient. I cannot fathom going through what the commenter DougJ quotes went through with any of the doctors I currently have, nor at all, nor with anyone less than absolutely merciful and kind. In this field, decency and warmth seem to be in short damn supply.

And it strikes me, having ducked my head into some of the Freepi threads about Tiller’s murder yesterday, that most people who rail against abortion even under these kinds of circumstances just have no honest-to-god fucking clue how any of this stuff really works. The dangers, the fears, the very real medical complications pregnancy can cause and what that MEANS for the people involved. I get that, I mean, it’s easier to maintain your worldview if you don’t think about what Tiller did as anything other than the horrendous thing it sounded like. I get that it’s easier not to think about this except as the clinical description, and not as some situation where a woman and her husband were expecting a baby. Were happy. Were hopeful. And then had that all taken away.

It’s easier not to think about it and to hold up the anecdote of some irresponsible, stupid girl as what we think of, to make the distinction. But this is the reality of the situation. This is the way this stuff actually works. There’s nothing about it that isn’t awful, and those standing by and cheering Tiller’s death would do well to remember it.

A.

6 thoughts on “How the World Actually Works

  1. pansypoo says:

    making babies now is big money. it’s not about…life.

  2. Maitri says:

    No one simply kills perfectly healthy fetuses 8 months into pregnancy, unless it’s for a very good damned reason. Twice now, TWICE, my friend’s daughter has become pregnant from liaisons with guys she hardly knew, drank alcohol and partied through her 5th or 6th month of pregnancy when “she found out” and carried those babies to term because it would be a sin against Christ if she aborted. No, you DUMB PIECE OF SHIT, the real sin against Christ is doing it without protection, giving this child no pre-natal care AND having no financial means to properly care for this damaged kid once it’s born. It’s not just about life, you unthinking, immature idiot, it’s about quality of life.
    A fitting punishment for Tiller’s murderer would be the adoption and rearing of such conjoined or other horribly ill children. Then again, I would wish neither life nor this asshole on those poor kids.

  3. Interrobang says:

    Horrible birth defects don’t exist in Forced Birther Land, and if something tragicdoes happen to you, well, you probably deserved it anyway. That’s the kind of vibe I get from Randall Terry and the rest of his true-believer crowd. I don’t know why he spends so much time choking the chicken at the thought of women dying in childbirth, but if he didn’t hide that behind religion, he’d have been committed by now.
    And if I hear one more Sensible Liberal™ talk about Tiller’s death by agreeing with the forced birthers, as in:
    Forced Birther: We think abortion is icky! Abortion is murder!
    Sensible Liberal: We think abortion is icky too! (leetle teeny type here)…we just think it’s sometimes necessary.
    I’m going to puke all over my shoes, not being anywhere near Randall Terry and Bill O’Reilly’s oh-so-pukeworthy shoes. (WTF is O’Reilly’s problem anyway? First he gets caught making perverted suggestions about felafel to an employee, and then he was saying that a man who performed life-saving legal medical procedures is somehow equivalent to the Nazis and so on. He’s got misogyny poisoning or something.)

  4. liprap says:

    An illuminating “what the FUCK?” link:
    http://bigezbear.blogspot.com/2009/06/blog-post.html
    Suspicious minds want to know: how could this man have NOT been a target? Sounds like Wichitans might well have painted a huge bullseye on this poor man.
    As far as I’m concerned, life for these people begins where control over women begins. I’m feeling mighty full of puke myself.

  5. Maitri says:

    I’m still completely incensed by the American non-reaction to this act of terrorism. As long as terror-inducing acts against their fellow Americans by Christian extremists are not viewed as equivalent to terrorist activity against Americans by Muslim extremists, the Great War On Terror is hypocritical and meaningless to me. Why isn’t the mainstream media and congress making a big deal of swooping down on the “Armies of God” folks Tiller’s assassin are associated with? How does each Planned Parenthood and abortion clinic in this country know it’s safe? But, no politician will lift a finger to really condemn this and launch a full-scale investigation because, while Vietnamese, Afghanistanis and Iraqis are not part of their voter base, these internal terrorists are. Votes are obviously more important than justice and keeping America truly safe.
    Forget Muslims, had something similar been perpetrated by a liberal hippy (e.g. Ayers) or a black man (John Muhammed), these people would have been disappeared by now. The Christian-old-boy network permeates America, makes itself the norm and knows no end to its dominating tactics, and they give Sotomayor grief for her “racist” comments? While she speaks honestly of cultural and gender differences, these people *act out* their differences while spouting things like “American freedom” and “level playing field.” Yet, Sotomayor is vile while they are true-blue sons of the soil. I am married to a white man and he is sick of these people arguing such nonsense in his name.
    Now, I go throw up. America deserves better than this justice-hijacking horseshit.

  6. Maitri says:

    That was supposed to read: Why aren’t the mainstream media and congress making a big deal of swooping down on the “Armies of God” folks Tiller’s assassin is associated with?
    Anger is no excuse for incoherence.

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