Because … I’m sorry, it isn’t God’s law that keeps me from cheating on my husband. It’s the promise I made in public to basically not be an asshole to him for the rest of our lives, and that I like him quite a lot and don’t want to upset him. God is not my traffic cop, and I just find the idea that He should have to be so very tiresome. Doesn’t He have enough to do without protecting me from my otherwise uncontrollable urges?
Now, granted, God and I have a relationship not unlike two exes who meet once a year for a quickie in a hotel room to get it out of their systems and then spend the other 364 days bitching about each other, but I’m not unaware that many people do rely upon Christian moral teachings for guidance as to how they live their lives. I’m not talking about looking at the life of Jesus and thinking, “You know, I should be like that guy, with the working for the poor and the defense of the decent and downtrodden and whatnot.” There’s nothing wrong with inspiration and motivation.
I’m talking about this certain conservative fundie tendency to cite God as a preventative, like chemical castration or something. You can be the biggest dick on the planet but so long as your Cosmic Crossing Guard is there, you’ll stay inside the white lines? God’s a vaccine, basically, to keep away the kind of flu that leads to you sticking your dick in somebody you’re not married to?
How … reductive.