Quitting Time Booster Shot

QTBSUnderwear

Welcome to the booster where we are a big fan of the words “performance enhancing” and “underwear” being in any sentence that doesn’t involve Manny Ramirez, David Ortiz, Barry Bonds or 100 other guys on that 2003 baseball list.

– Speaking of baseball, I believe we’ve entered the arena that Jim Leyland was talking about in 1997. He was doing an interview during the Carpetbaggers/Indians World Series when someone asked him about how having Florida and Cleveland in the Series was hurting the ratings. He said words to the effect of, “Look, Cleveland beat everyone they needed to in order to get here. We did too. Maybe what baseball should do if they’re so concerned about ratings is simply seed New York, Boston, Atlanta and L.A. and just let those teams play for the World Series.” If you’ve been aware of the trade deadline today, you’ll notice thatBoston has claimed half of the planetthat the White Sox, Yankees and L.A. hasn’t and that Cleveland and Pittsburgh have officially started the 2018 rebuilding project. How does this make life good or fun if you’re a fan and not a front-runner?

– Speaking of baseball stuff not being fun, the players’ union is beating the crap out of the journo who has been hammering the crap out of the story on the crap players took in 2003. Yeah, because that’s what we should be worrying about right now: the journalism. Not the salary cap, not the sanctity of the game, not the records that fell because these guys had an entire Walgreens injected into their asses. No, it’s the lack of respect by the journalists.

– Two thoughts when I readthis story: 1) See, we need to be paying journalists more so that they’re not doing so much “social enterprising” that involves Craigslist, hookers and the screen name “NHhotman.” 2) Where did this guy find the time to pull this together? Shouldn’t he have been live blogging the sports events he was covering, shooting video for the company Web site, doing podcasts and other digital stuff? Maybe the company wasn’t clear enough on what it defined as “convergence efforts.”

– Tip of the cap to Scott for telling me my “breaking news” on World News Weekly was two years old. Damn you Google reader. Damn your eyes!

– Did we need more proof that Sam Zell is an asshole, a weasel and a douche bag? Nope, buthere’s some anyway…

At long last, political Web site worth reading… OK, seriously. You’re a major candidate for political office. You’ve got a Web address people go to so they may find out more info about you. You make at least five figures, perhaps even mid to high five figures. You mean to tell me you couldn’t scrape together $25 bucks to keep the domain name safe? If Ms. A ever gives up first-draft.com, I’m buying the thing so if I tell people I blogged there, the stuff is safe. I don’t want to get strange looks from people who went to the “new and improved” site and then ask, “OK, so what do you know about bestiality and farming implements?”

– From the “Oh, hey sorry about the unrequested butt sex but we’ll need to charge you for that condom we used” department: I got an email yesterday prior to receiving my summer pay for an internal grant and a summer course I’m finishing. Turns out, my pay is subject to the “furlough” restrictions passed by the state. Thus, they reduced my pay a little more than 3 percent on each check. OK, it’s not bad enough they rescinded our raises, took away the merit pay and then forced us into more than two weeks of furloughs over the next two years, but what is this? A furlough, I thought, was supposed to be forced time off that you didn’t get paid for. Not telling us we were being furloughed and then taking away the money sounds more like a pay cut. Of course no one’s pay is really being cut. They’re just retroactively furloughing us for time we might not have spent doing something we actually did. It’s like how the CIA doesn’t kill people. They neutralize them or they depopulate the area, to quote George Carlin. Doesn’t make them less dead, though…

– And finally, I have found heaven, andits name is RiffTrax. Remember the guys from MST3K? Because they never got permission to use the films they riffed on in all the right ways, only a handful of episodes are available for purchase. However, after the show was cancelled these guys still kept the spirit alive. They’re now selling MP3 companions to movies that you can buy and sync up with your DVD player and enjoy MST3K all over again. If you want pure elation, listen to the sample for “Twilight.” I do this at least once a night. Y’know, when you’re on furlough…

Thanks for letting me share your air. Be back next week.

Doc

6 thoughts on “Quitting Time Booster Shot

  1. Scott says:

    The Weekly World News story is from ’07.

  2. Doc says:

    OUCH! Thanks. Will Fix. Don’t know why the hell that popped up in my reader this week…

  3. Peregwyn says:

    I’m an Indians fan and I’m depressed. I knew they weren’t going to the playoffs or anything. But still…

  4. Scott says:

    There is going to be aWeekly World News comic book coming out early next year. Starring Bat Boy, Ed Anger, an alligator-human hybrid, and a psychologist gorilla.

  5. MapleStreet says:

    Even though you’re apparently dealing with the state, I’d really question their legal standing to have retroactive furloughs. Violation of contract.

  6. Linkmeister says:

    I’m with the baseball union on this one. Those players cooperated with testing in 2003 to determine whether there was a steroids problem. Once it was determined there was, the Basic Agreement tried to address it in the next go-round. Those test results were supposed to be destroyed and weren’t. Now they’re supposed to be under court seal and they’re being released. Somebody’s breaking the law here.

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