Whiny, Self-Serving Crapola: In Other Words, Another Ross Douthat Column

Ross misses it by a mile, swings back around, and misses it again:

More than most Westerners, Americans believe — deeply, madly, truly — in the sanctity
of marriage. But we also have some of the most liberal divorce laws in
the developed world, and one of the highest divorce rates. We
sentimentalize the family, but boast one of the highest rates of unwed
births. We’re more pro-life than Europeans, but we tolerate a much more
permissive abortion regime than countries like Germany or France. We
wring our hands over stem cell research, but our fertility clinics are
among the least regulated in the world.

In other words, we’re conservative right up until the moment that it costs us.

THAT’S BECAUSE YOU AND YOURS ARE GINORMOUS HYPOCRITES. Any other stupid questions? I mean, Jesus tits, does this kitchen appliance really need this explained to him? The reason there’s this disconnect is that for the past 30 years we’ve had a “culture war” that is largely about demonizing women and making sure that anybody who colors outside the lines is publicly shunned. Most Americans think this is crap, but the Republican noise machine has drowned those voices out, narrowly defining morality as particular flavors of fucking and making sure any attempt to have a sensible dialogue about sex (or anything else these days) is dominated by morons with duct tape over their mouths, sheltered assholes screaming obscenities, and mentally disturbed freakazoids spraying church lobbies with bullets.

Would the world be a better place if we could make up our fucking minds, pun intended? Absolutely. I welcome the day when conservatives are willing to admit that the sanctity of marriage applies to their meth-huffing prostitute-blowing pastors and wet-suited erotic-furry-chasing congressmen and their sexual-harrassing judges and their trail-hiking governors. I welcome with open arms the day when the party of “people of faith” and “moral values” actually lives up to its name, but I completely disput the idea that Ross is pushing here, that it’s “all of us” being total dipshits instead of just his cocktail-party pals.

I swear to God Ross is like my crackhead neighbor’s dog, which every morning takes a gigantic dump on the lawn and then five minutes later comes over to smell it and look up like, “Who put that there?”

Via Rising Hegemon.

A.

6 thoughts on “Whiny, Self-Serving Crapola: In Other Words, Another Ross Douthat Column

  1. pansypoo says:

    well, we are still stuck in that puritan/victorianism appearances shit. and the rite and the media won’t STFU will they. most of us? we have moved on.

  2. whet moser says:

    “Kitchen appliance” is my new favorite insult.
    I don’t think he needs it explained to him; I think he’s in on the scam. A good unhealthy society equals a thriving business for moral scolds, and Douthat has a full-time gig.

  3. hoppy says:

    That last paragraph should be a bumper sticker if it were just a bit shorter! I hope I can remember that one.

  4. Silver Owl says:

    Conservatives have a very weird view of not only themselves but reality in general. I believe they are mentally and emotionally stuck in a seriously messed up fairy tale.

  5. missy says:

    That last paragraph is absolute perfection.

  6. oscarbob says:

    Christ, the last analogy made beer come out of my nose, stop it you’re killin’ me!

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