I hadn’t planned to do a malaka of the week for New Year’s Day but sometimes the malakatude reaches out and slaps you in the face. You’re probably asking yourself, Tim Who? I’d never heard of him either until this moronic stunt hit the front page of the Picayune:
A Lacombe man and his daughter hatched an unusual practical
joke to entertain themselves as they drove down Interstate
12: tie the girl’s hands, duct-tape her mouth and watch
the startled expressions as their fellow drivers noticed the
apparent kidnapping in progress.
It was apparently a very realistic depiction. But the
man’s fellow motorists, who boxed the pickup in until
law enforcement arrived, and the deputies who arrested him,
Tim Williams, 45, was returning to St. Tammany Parish
with his 12-year-old daughter after picking her up from his
ex-wife at the Texas state line Wednesday afternoon when the
two came up with the idea, said St. Tammany Parish
Sheriff’s Office spokesman Cpl. Sean Beavers. During
the stunt, duct tape was used to bind the girl’s hands
and cover her mouth, Beaver said.
“I don’t know who in their right mind would
want to play at a child abduction with their 12-year-old
daughter,” he said.
It’s unclear when the two first started the stunt,
but at least three motorists called 9-1-1 to report an
abduction after seeing the girl bound and gagged in the
front seat of the pickup about 3:50 p.m. as the vehicle
passed the Louisiana 1077 exit on I-12, Beavers said.
Deputies rushed to the highway as several motorists
surrounded the truck in an attempt to keep the supposed
kidnapper from getting away, he said.
The patrol cars caught up with Williams at the Louisiana
59 exit and learned it was all a prank when they pulled
Williams over, Beavers said.
Because of the severity of the situation, Williams was
booked into the St. Tammany Parish jail in Covington with
criminal mischief and contributing to the delinquency of a
minor before being released later in the day on a $3,000
bond. His daughter, who was not identified because she is a
juvenile, was cited for criminal mischief and released to
the care of an uncle, Beavers said.
I don’t usually post such long quotes but this was such a doozy that I couldn’t top the Picayune. Why on earth did this douchebag:
a) think this was funny and
b) think that in world full of cell phones, nobody would call the state police?
He’s a malaka, that’s why.