TIME Fail

Seriously

Seriously.

Who needs any kind of political bias or nefarious conspiracies when employees of our national media companies are this fucking dumb to begin with? Was there anybody who didn’t see this ending in a fiery crash at the bottom of a cliff with luggage and papers and, like, crates of chickens scattered all around, and body parts and human carnage? Didn’t this just scream OMG NOOOOO from the start? And yet here’s Time magazine, merrily pretending it’s all gonna work out great. The future? Really?

My theme today seems to be OLD AS FUCK, and this isn’t me not trusting anybody over 50 or anything, this is me saying the “future” of television is clearly some 20-year-old on the Disney channel, not Jay Leno who still thinks Hillary jokes are hilarious. You may think that sucks, I certainly do because I can’t keep track of all those pretty children, but fact remains, Jay isn’t funny, attractive, likeable or interesting, and has nothing to say about popular culture or the world in general that I haven’t heard a million times from vaguely racist, mostly sexist dipshit e-mail forwards.

Maybe the Internet didn’t just kill journalism. Maybe it killed Jay Leno’s show, too.

A.

12 thoughts on “TIME Fail

  1. Gummo says:

    Anyone who’s ever watched tv knew that putting a noncomedy nontalk show on 5 nights a week in prime time was simply admitting defeat. NBC might as well have just broadcast a sign saying, “WE GOT NUTHIN” during that slot.
    I’m actually old enough to remember when Leno was an amusing stand-up comedian — never one of the first rank, or even second, but he could usually make you smile. Unfortunately, that was many years ago, before he learned that doing nonstop shtick with his sidekick and his chin was a helluva lot easier than actually trying to be funny.
    He can’t interview, and has never tried. Rather, every guest is there to recite a few prewritten gags and plug their movie/book/TV series/concert tour.
    There is nothing resembling “entertainment” in this formula.
    So what was Time thinking? I have no idea, but then again I usually have no idea what Time is thinking, if anything. I assume NBC owns Time or Time owns NBC?

  2. The networks could look to cable for inspiration and make 10 episodes of great TV per season instead of 22 episodes of crap. There’s nothing stopping them from making the next Dexter, Shield or Mad Men except their own lack of imagination.
    Instead they put on reality shows because they’re cheap and then wonder why their audience is shrinking and their voices are becoming irrelevant.

  3. Jude says:

    You’re getting this all wrong.
    NBC is simply using this situation to provide ideas and plotlines for 30 Rock. It’s vertical integration, or whatever fucking stupid buzzword-laced phrase goes here.

  4. racymind says:

    Bill Hicks gave Jay Leno too much credit… Hicks predicted (in a very funny routine of the early 90’s) that Leno would have a moment of clarity about the “quality” of what he was doing and shoot himself on live TV while interviewing Joey Lawrence.
    But, he was wrong, and we have been stuck with Leno.

  5. escariot says:

    BBC Headline just now across my desktop: Sarah Palin signed on as Fox news contributor. The future of Television is Road Warriors scary.
    I need a drink…

  6. Michael says:

    Eet eez lahk waihn but…how you say…weezout ze edge.
    From a commercial for a wine whose name escapes me right now. The actress was hot; the wine, less so.
    Lenohas no edge, Conan is too often just…stupid. Next!

  7. Marc says:

    I am breaking out in hives just looking at that grotesque Time cover. Epi pen, quick!!

  8. MapleStreet says:

    I can’t explain it. But I watched Leno fairly frequently when he was on after the news.
    In the hour before the news, I have seen him less than 5 times.
    P

  9. pansypoo says:

    i never watched, so i can’t say.

  10. leinie says:

    All I ask is that this inevitable move makes room for that new David Tennant vehicle, and that it doesn’t suck.
    Never watched – but then again, I don’t watch network tv unless it involves live coverage – either first downs, blitzes and touchdowns, or the Prez of these here United States. Unless it’s got awesome Brit guys like Hugh Laurie or that yummy David.

  11. Harris says:

    David Terrenoir above said it right.

  12. Snarki, child of Loki says:

    I don’t know why you said “TIME Fail”.
    Seems to me TIME got it exactly right, but just not in the way intended.

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