Pat: *beams* So you SEE, I have COME to take my rightful PLACE at your right HAND!
God: ABOUT THAT…YOU CAN’T ACTUALLY COME IN.
What? You mean you want me to take Saint Peter’s place, deciding who
comes in and who stays out? I can do that! I have a very clear
understanding on the sort of riff raff we shouldn’t let in! You can
trust me not to let the sinners in, Lord!
God: WELL, NO, APPARENTLY
YOU DON’T. BECAUSE *YOU* ARE THE SORT OF RIFF RAFF WE DON’T LET IN.
REMEMBER ALL THAT HATE, ALL THAT JUDGMENT YOU PREACHED?
Pat: Absolutely! It came straight from the Bible.
God: YOU KEEP USING THAT BOOK. I DO NOT THINK IT MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS.
Pat: You quote “The Princess Bride”?
God: I WROTE “THE PRINCESS BRIDE”.
Pat: I think I’m starting to understand.