God for the Win

Please please please please let this happen:

Pat: *beams* So you SEE, I have COME to take my rightful PLACE at your right HAND!

God: ABOUT THAT…YOU CAN’T ACTUALLY COME IN.

Pat:
What? You mean you want me to take Saint Peter’s place, deciding who
comes in and who stays out? I can do that! I have a very clear
understanding on the sort of riff raff we shouldn’t let in! You can
trust me not to let the sinners in, Lord!

God: WELL, NO, APPARENTLY
YOU DON’T. BECAUSE *YOU* ARE THE SORT OF RIFF RAFF WE DON’T LET IN.
REMEMBER ALL THAT HATE, ALL THAT JUDGMENT YOU PREACHED?

Pat: Absolutely! It came straight from the Bible.

God: YOU KEEP USING THAT BOOK. I DO NOT THINK IT MEANS WHAT YOU THINK IT MEANS.

Pat: You quote “The Princess Bride”?

God: I WROTE “THE PRINCESS BRIDE”.

Pat: I think I’m starting to understand.

A.

12 thoughts on “God for the Win

  1. Dan says:

    Something alongthese lines would be acceptable too.

  2. Interrobang says:

    Harrumph. Now Iknow God doesn’t exist. At least not that one. Nobody with the occupational title of “god” would ever quote a movie as awful asThe Princess Bride.
    (Yeah, I said it. You hear me, internets?! I. Hate. The. Princess. Bride. Shoot me already.)

  3. Jude says:

    Sheesh, Interrobang. Keep this up and we’ll give you Hoppy’s title as First Draft’s designated Cranky Old Man.
    Yes, I’m aware you don’t fit the last part of that title.
    But the title already exists, and we can’t change it after the fact.

  4. Elspeth Ravenwind says:

    Did you even READ the book “The Princess Bride”??? It’s stellar. Yeesh, I’ll go there no matter what and call you “Cranky Old Fart of First Draft” – to hate such a well-spun tale? Sure…hate “Going Rogue”, hate Beck’s drivel, but to lump “The Princess Bride” in with those (and in comparison, it’s nowhere near the dreck twins’ level of ‘fairy tale’!)…???
    I’m disappointed in you Interrobang. Next Crack Van, pls sit beside someone else, kthxbai.

  5. Athenae says:

    Damn, wait till everybody finds out I hate the Beatles.
    A.

  6. Jude says:

    Nah, A, I’m with you on that one.

  7. Michael says:

    As you wish, Interrobang. As you wish.
    😀

  8. pansypoo says:

    ZING!
    that is inconceivable. as is pat roberton being a grifter beyond palin-so far.

  9. spocko says:

    Interrobang hates “The Princess Bride” OMG! Hmmm. I’m curious if you are talking about the book or the movie? And what specifically about it do you hate?
    I can see a lot to hate about it from one point of view. But rather than attempt to read Interrobang’s mind I’ll ask. What specifically makes you hate it and are you talking about the movie or the book?

  10. pansypoo says:

    fred. the kid i bet.

  11. Adrastos says:

    I’m sharing a blog with Beatle haters? Holy crap. Oh well, nobody’s perfect…

  12. pansypoo says:

    i do not consider myself a beatles FAN.

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