Quitting Time Booster Shot

Welcome to the Booster where we really need a break from teen angst and vampires…

– Spent the afternoon watching “Aliens” simply because I’d
never actually seen this from the beginning. I have seen everything from about
the 20 minute mark about 9,000 times, but never saw the opening. Two things I
hadn’t realized until just this viewing: 1) After seeing the first 20 minutes,
I had a new appreciation as to how well Paul Reiser plays a douche bag and 2) I
forgot what movies were like when Phillip Morris and its ilk ran Hollywood.
Everyone in this movie is smoking something. I think the Android is even
puffing a Kool…

Here’s Mark Fiore’s latest ‘Net Toon. It’s a bit obvious,
but I’m loving the guy anyway.

– Portland Trailblazers star Greg Oden apologized for a
series of nude photos that have managed to find their way onto the Internet.LZ
Granderson’s got an interesting take on this
, if you’re interested. (Chances
are, though, instead of reading this, you’ll immediately Google “Greg Oden
nude” instead.) I also came late to the party and found out that my beloved
Cleveland Indians star Grady Sizemore had done the same thing a few months ago.
Let’s get past the obvious: if you don’t want naked pictures of your dong
hanging out on a Web site (you can read that modifier however you want), don’t
take the pictures. My take: If I was as young, hung and muscular
as these two guys, I’d have used photos like that for my Christmas cards. (OK,
probably not the Sizemore shot with the coffee mug. I hate coffee.) Conversely,
if I was as goofy and old as John Edwards, I’d have sex only in a situation in
which not even light could escape.

Fit isn’t go, anymore, apparently…

– From the “And we shop at Festival Foods, too!” department: At a bar
with some friends from out of town, when the bartender offers another drink to
the gay guy among us. “I don’t know what I want,” he says. The bartender
responds, “Do you like fruity things?” The three of us almost piss ourselves
we’re laughing so hard. She doesn’t get it and brings him something with
pomegranate in it.She then told
him a joke: “Why can’t Barbie get pregnant? Because Ken came in a different
box.” A fine night out in “the Heartland.”

– OK, I admit I have the mentality of a 12-year-old. It’s
what helped me keep my headlines from being on Jay Leno’s watch list. However,
the minute I heard “iPad” I knew I wasn’t going to be the first to make
menstruation jokes. Glad to know that not only was I right, but that the NYT
was going to cover it

– From the “eeeew…” department: If you have this going on or
don’t have this going on, please do not note this in the comment section.

– Tip of the cap to the folks at Journal-Sentinelfor making
the finalists list for a $25,000 prize
. TheCashing in on Kids series was

– From the “better late than never” file: The NFL has
declared that a crucial hit on Brett Favre should have been flagged in the NFC
championship games, thus giving the Vikes 15 yards and nullifying a crucial
interception. Hey, I’m fine with the game results, the fact the Vike fans are
even more miserable now and that the NFL is not doing anything about this.
Besides, given Favre’s love of showing up late for training camp, showing up late
for retirement and such, you’d imagine this was right up his alley…

– It’s a bad week for historical figures. We’ve got Howard
Zinn dying and J.D. Salinger dying as well. I hate to admit this, but I reread
“Catcher” not too long ago and I still didn’t like it. I also read Steinbeck’s
“East of Eden” and wasn’t all that thrilled. When I read his “Winter of Our
Discontent,” I loved it, only to find that it was the book most literary
critics thought was his most worthless. Perhaps I have no taste…

Thanks for letting me share your air. Be back next week.


2 thoughts on “Quitting Time Booster Shot

  1. may make the ikings feel ok. i didn’t know the saints had never gone. go saints.
    if only the journal would get rid of the fux gnews editor.

  2. Doc,
    It isn’t that you have no taste.
    It’s that your smart enough to recognize that junk isn’t haute.
    That “mancrunch” ad CBS turned down is junk; bad acting, cheap production values, lousy writing, worse lighting. But people are defending the thing as “over the top on purpose” and “high camp” and “comic genius”.
    That said, I’m pretty sure the Tebow ad CBS accepted is going to be junk for other reasons — content (it’s Tim Tebow! Bow before your WASP master, all you lowlifes!) and message, but it looks like it might also be junk ’cause, um, guess what? When Ms. Tebow was in the Philippines and got so ill the “liberal” docs gave her the advice she “chose life” instead of, abortion was illegal in the Philippines.
    Linky goodness:

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