Thanks to all the TV folks reporting from each campaign night
headquarters and assuring us how enthusiastic supporters of this or
that particular candidate are and how they like the numbers they are
seeing so far. Especially when all I see on the screen is a few bored
people milling around with overpriced, watered-down drinks in their
And thanks to all the TV “reporters” for once again failing to come
up with any decent questions to ask at any of these headquarters’. It’s
not like you haven’t had time to think about it.
Garrard McClendon monitoring a CLTV chat or blog or something: “It’s red hot!”
Now he’s reading content-free comments from anonymous people we don’t care about.
McClendon reiterates that this shows how engaged voters are despite the low turnout.
And you know, on that last, in general: Old-media dickweeds are the first people to decry anonymous Internet comments and stupid blogs and online polls and other nonsense as, well, nonsense, but then they jump on board the bandwagon anyway for fear they might be missing something, or in the kind of pathetic, desperate effort to remain relevant that doesn’t work on a prom date much less an anchor. Which creates the impression, for their readers or viewers, that they have no fucking idea what they’re talking about.
Just because a thing exists doesn’t mean you have to use it. Maybe reading comments from a live chat would be good, if they were funny (like our Crack Vans) or smart (like our Crack Vans) or interesting (like our Crack Vans) or contained Crimean War references interspersed with discussions of the Kinsey Scale (like our Crack Vans). But don’t just be all, “And here’s some stuff from the blog!” because you want to show off that you’re hip and happening andwhoomp there it is and shit.
It’s the Sir Edmund Hillary Theory of the Internet, they have web sites because they’re there, and they’ll tell anyone who listens that they pine for the days of yore when all you needed was a scotch and a typewriter … just go get some Glenlivet and an Underwood then, jackass, nobody’s stopping you.