Commentary Fail: Tony Kornheiser, Hannah Storm and Chris Chase

Background: Tony Kornheiser, who is a passable sportswriter but a
horrendously bad TV/radio commentator and who is mainly known for having
Brett Favre’s five-dollar-footlong farther down his throat at all times than just
about anybody, recentlymade this stunningly stupidass comment about Hannah

Hannah Storm in a horrifying, horrifying outfit today. She’s got
on red go-go boots and a catholic school plaid skirt. Way too short for
somebody in her 40s or maybe early 50s by now. And she’s got on her
typically very, very tight shirt. So she looks like she’s got sausage
casing wrapping around her upper body. I mean, I know she’s very good,
and I’m not supposed to be critical of ESPN people, so I won’t … But,
Hannah Storm, come on now! Stop! What are you doing? … [She’s] what I
would call a Holden Caulfield fantasy at this point.

He later pretended it was ooh, edgy:

While waiting for Tiger Woods’ first public appearance since his sex scandal broke, Kornheiser told
his radio audience he’d called Storm to say he was “a sarcastic,
subversive guy” and was sorry.

He’s so real, man, he’s so out there, it was so subversive. What a fucking sophomore. ESPN suspended the sexist jackass not because hey, he’s a
sexist jackass and also not funny or interesting in any way, but
because he was criticizing one of their own people.

Most of the fail I’d like to talk about, though, comes inthe commentary of YahooSports’s Chris Chase, who writes of the whole mess:

Kornheiser then repeated one of his radio mantras: “If you put a
live microphone in front of someone, eventually that person will say
something wrong.” That’s true of all the radio greats like Stern, Imus
and Limbaugh. (Though Kornheiser doesn’t have the national following of
those hosts, he’s a fantastic radio personality.) And, ironically, what
usually gets those guys into trouble is the stuff you wouldn’t have
found offensive upon first listen.

The Mannheim Steamroller FUCK? First of all, Rush Limbaugh and Don
Imus and Howard Stern are professional dillweeds, not sportscasters. They are paid specifically to piss people off, not to talk about sports. And how is what Kornheiser said NOT offensive on first listen? Let me put this in terms even a Neanderthal could understand: How hard would you kick his ass if he said that about your daughter? If the answer is VERY HARD SIR, it was probably offensive.

Second, there is nothing inevitable about saying something pervy
and stupid into a live mic unless you’re a stupid pervert.
everybody’s gonna slip up and let a curse word through or screw up a
score or something, but it’s not just a matter of time before a
perfectly normal person becomes an asshole. It is, however, often a
matter of time before an asshole reveals himself as such.

Third, naturally it’s all the network’s fault:

On a given radio show, Kornheiser might say similar comments about
any number of people. He got in trouble this time because ESPN has a
strict policy about criticism within the network. Other personalities
have been felled by the rule before, so the suspension itself wasn’t
all that surprising.

It may have a drawback though. Before, the insensitive comments were
heard by a select few in the D.C. area and people who frequent sports
blogs. Now, they’re national news.

Well, if on a given radio show Kornheiser says shit like that, maybe
it’s time for ESPN to think about benching him permanently. And wow,
it’s a major bummer when attention is drawn to powerful people acting
like jackasses, huh? LEAVE TONY KORNHEISER ALONE!

Note to Chris Chase: I’d be more worried about Hannah Storm’s state
of mind than Tony Kornheiser’s. Once the latter is off the cover of
FAIL Monthly, he’ll be right back to making awkward, obvious
observations and telling jokes that aren’t funny, and nobody will find
that the least bit offensive. Though they should.


11 thoughts on “Commentary Fail: Tony Kornheiser, Hannah Storm and Chris Chase

  1. Funny enough, Craig Sager on TNT wears outrageous outfits all the time and gets off with light ribbing at most.

  2. You’ve gotta admit–that is a ridiculous outfit. But it’s not because of her age or sex–it’s just because it’s ridiculous.
    Kornheiser is a douche for making it about appearance, age, and sex. I mean, it’s almost a given that a sportscaster is going to dress like a tool at some point (paging Deion Sanders). But “sausage casing?”
    Has this fuck ever seen Chris Berman? That guy’s about 50 pounds of bratwurst in a 10 pound sack. Dan Dierdorf? About the same.
    And, really. This fucker’s talking about people’s appearances? For fuck’s sakes, male sportscasters like Berman, Kornheiser, that doughy fuck Woody Paige, or whoever that fuckin’ bespectacled chinless wonder is that I see on ESPN in bars from time to time–these guys are so ugly they should shave their asses and walk on their hands.
    Fuck him and his bullshit double standard.

  3. I saw Storm in a restaurant many years ago. She’s quite tall.
    Probably taller than Kornheiser, who is a douche and probably a small one at that.
    That is all.

  4. “…ESPN has a strict policy about criticism within the network.”
    Really? That just can’t be a good idea, and not just for ESPN but for any media outlet, and not just for media outlets but for any organization I can think of.
    If somebody in your organization is saying or doing something stupid, you should be able to go to them and say “I think what you’re saying (or doing) is stupid”. And if you can’t stop them – and they can’t convince you that it isn’t stupid – you should be able to go elsewhere and say “my associate is saying (or doing) something stupid here” in an effort to stop them.
    The best people I ever worked for all not only understood this, but actively *encouraged* it.

  5. First of all, Rush Limbaugh and Don Imus and Howard Stern are professional dillweeds, not sportscasters. They are paid specifically to piss people off, not to talk about sports.
    Unfortunately, many people who are paid to talk about sports are professional dillweeds (Cowherd, Rome, Bayless, Mariotti). Not necessarily sexist dillweeds, but unquestionably professional dillweeds.
    That just can’t be a good idea, and not just for ESPN but for any media outlet, and not just for media outlets but for any organization I can think of.
    It’s not, but most media organizations frown on it, if only as a gentleman’s agreement. Which is why it was such a breath of fresh air when Gail Collins took a chair to David Brooks a couple weeks ago. The professional thing to do would have been to stuff him in a trunk and put him on a cargo ship, but baby steps.
    ESPN did, for awhile, have the best ombudsman in the biz, but they can be really hacktackular at times.

  6. Chris Chase is the worst sports “journalist” on the face of the planet. Why does he still have a job? Why does Yahoo continue to post his articles on the front page with misleading headlines like “Controversy” based on his pure conjecture? Why is there no official “Fire Chris Chase” website? Is anybody less likable than Chris Chase?

  7. Lee Rodgers of K S F O was fired last week. He is one of the three hosts that I had been writing to advertisers about for years. One of the other groups I wrote to were his ABC News colleagues who read their stories on the station. He called them liars, claimed they were leftist propagandists and in one case introduced the award winning DC reporter as a “Presidential butt kisser”
    I didn’t just email it to his boss. I emailed it to the people who were insulted and to the person in charge of affiliate relations, suggesting that if he hates ABC so much maybe you should stop the stations feed.
    Since I know that emails can get ignored, I also called up the people in charge at ABC and played the audio clips into their voice mail to make sure they got the message.
    The important people back in New York noticed because I made sure they noticed.

Comments are closed.