Background: Tony Kornheiser, who is a passable sportswriter but a
horrendously bad TV/radio commentator and who is mainly known for having
Brett Favre’s five-dollar-footlong farther down his throat at all times than just
about anybody, recentlymade this stunningly stupidass comment about Hannah
Hannah Storm in a horrifying, horrifying outfit today. She’s got
on red go-go boots and a catholic school plaid skirt. Way too short for
somebody in her 40s or maybe early 50s by now. And she’s got on her
typically very, very tight shirt. So she looks like she’s got sausage
casing wrapping around her upper body. I mean, I know she’s very good,
and I’m not supposed to be critical of ESPN people, so I won’t … But,
Hannah Storm, come on now! Stop! What are you doing? … [She’s] what I
would call a Holden Caulfield fantasy at this point.
He later pretended it was ooh, edgy:
While waiting for Tiger Woods’ first public appearance since his sex scandal broke, Kornheiser told
his radio audience he’d called Storm to say he was “a sarcastic,
subversive guy” and was sorry.
He’s so real, man, he’s so out there, it was so subversive. What a fucking sophomore. ESPN suspended the sexist jackass not because hey, he’s a
sexist jackass and also not funny or interesting in any way, but
because he was criticizing one of their own people.
Most of the fail I’d like to talk about, though, comes inthe commentary of YahooSports’s Chris Chase, who writes of the whole mess:
Kornheiser then repeated one of his radio mantras: “If you put a
live microphone in front of someone, eventually that person will say
something wrong.” That’s true of all the radio greats like Stern, Imus
and Limbaugh. (Though Kornheiser doesn’t have the national following of
those hosts, he’s a fantastic radio personality.) And, ironically, what
usually gets those guys into trouble is the stuff you wouldn’t have
found offensive upon first listen.
The Mannheim Steamroller FUCK? First of all, Rush Limbaugh and Don
Imus and Howard Stern are professional dillweeds, not sportscasters. They are paid specifically to piss people off, not to talk about sports. And how is what Kornheiser said NOT offensive on first listen? Let me put this in terms even a Neanderthal could understand: How hard would you kick his ass if he said that about your daughter? If the answer is VERY HARD SIR, it was probably offensive.
and stupid into a live mic unless you’re a stupid pervert.Yeah,
everybody’s gonna slip up and let a curse word through or screw up a
score or something, but it’s not just a matter of time before a
perfectly normal person becomes an asshole. It is, however, often a
matter of time before an asshole reveals himself as such.
Third, naturally it’s all the network’s fault:
On a given radio show, Kornheiser might say similar comments about
any number of people. He got in trouble this time because ESPN has a
strict policy about criticism within the network. Other personalities
have been felled by the rule before, so the suspension itself wasn’t
all that surprising.
It may have a drawback though. Before, the insensitive comments were
heard by a select few in the D.C. area and people who frequent sports
blogs. Now, they’re national news.
Well, if on a given radio show Kornheiser says shit like that, maybe
it’s time for ESPN to think about benching him permanently. And wow,
it’s a major bummer when attention is drawn to powerful people acting
like jackasses, huh? LEAVE TONY KORNHEISER ALONE!
Note to Chris Chase: I’d be more worried about Hannah Storm’s state
of mind than Tony Kornheiser’s. Once the latter is off the cover of
FAIL Monthly, he’ll be right back to making awkward, obvious
observations and telling jokes that aren’t funny, and nobody will find
that the least bit offensive. Though they should.