More Than This

Clearly my marriage will go straight to hell for looking at these pictures:

We have a feeling, even though we are old, that some girls are bringing
girls to homecoming/prom/fancy-wear day dances these days. Amirite? Are
you one of those girls/boys?Well let’s celebrate those photos everyone is so f*cking afraid of! VISIBILITY, LADIES!

I am just now combing through my own memories of high school to try to figure out if anyone I knew brought a partner of the same sex to prom. I don’t think so, though my own memories of that time aren’t good ones, so I doubt I was paying attention to anything but my own nonsense.

As are most people, I think: High school is fucking miserable. Even if you are popular, even if you are gorgeous, even if you are smart, even if you fit into every box there is to check on every list there is to make and do everything exactly right, it is still a point in your life when you feel like you have to figure everything out and become who you’ll be for the rest of your life. And all around you are a bunch of other kids doing the same thing, and being assholes to each other because the neurons are firing a billion miles a minute, plus there’s sports and cheerleading and drivers’ licenses to get in the way.

Maybe this is my small-town talking, and a city school would have been different, but if what I’ve seen of teenagers all over is true, high school is at best an awkward experience in why you suck. Why is why this is so enraging, this girl and her girl and the inability to go to prom together just because adults are fucking stupid. There’s so little joy in the world, and even less when you have acne and are worried about college admissions and whatever it is kids these days worry about, with their iPods and stuff, and then grown-ups come along with all this bullshit and make itworse. God.

If you can find even one other person who remotely gets you during this
time of your life when everything sucks so much and nothing feels
right, you should cling to that person who gets you like a very clingy thing, and you should do as much stupid shit together as you possibly can, up to and including going to the goddamn prom. If you’re a girl and she’s a girl or you’re a guy and he’s a guy, so fucking what? What
matters is you’ve found somebody at the age of 16 that takes away the
ever-present urge to just explode with how insane the world is. I looked at those faces up there in those pictures at the link and just thought, how lucky they are to be that happy.


8 thoughts on “More Than This

  1. Admittedly, I have no question in my mind but that the administrators are singling out this girl. No doubt this means she will be subjected to “Enhanced Hazing” from her peers.
    But really dumb questions – as she has been fairly open with her peers, is it gonna surprise them when she says that she is a lesbian to the point of being a disruption at the prom?
    Don’t her peers know already – or do they meet the stereotype of lazy teenagers who don’t follow the local news?
    If her gayness hasn’t rubbed off on them in the last 12 years of school, it seems like her peers will be sufficiently innoculated to withstand 4 hours of dancing.
    Not to mention, how many folks have memories of their heterosexual proms where they engaged in acts that went beyond the traditional definitions of decency?

  2. I actually enjoyed high school…I wasn’t particularly popular, just kind of a mid-range gal who had friends in all the varying strata of semi-rural high school (now enrobed in suburban sprawl…I’m glad I graduated when I did) that had everybody, preps, stoners, jocks, kickers… I was on the dance/drill team (b/c I wanted to dance, not b/c I had an attitude). I had a dreadful time at prom (Athenae, my prom pic is in one of my FB galleries), but y’know, these things happen. It wasn’t horrifying, just kind of dull thanks to a lackluster date who didn’t dance (I didn’t learn this until the night before prom).

  3. I have a different favorite every time I look at these. Right now it’s #47.
    I’m also very grateful that Constance McMillan’s father has been so outspoken in support of his daughter throughout this. People very much need to see loving supportive parents of GLBTQ kids. Maybe they aren’t there yet themselves, but they can see those folks modeling the correct response: She’s my child and I love her and I’m proud of her.

  4. One of my best friends from h.s. just lost his mom yesterday, and they were never able to be frank and open about who he was, and what his relationship with his live-in partner was. Now they’ve both lost that chance, and it’s heartbreaking, because at that time of my life she was one of the most accepting adults around that I could always count on.
    We are an effed-up species.

  5. High school is the worst punishment I can imagine.
    Clearly, the administrators want this girl dead, and they’ll probably get their wish.

  6. Those pictures are gorgeous.
    One’s thirties offer an excellent opportunity to throw a prom. You can, you know. And if you feel you got it wrong the first time or you didn’t go or you hated your date, you can fix all that – all of it.

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