IVF & Abortion: Silly Girls

Silly, silly, silly women:

IVF isn’t just a one time process, where you show up, have some eggs
taken out, and go about your way. It requires multiple screenings with
doctors, with various meetings throughout your cycle to monitor
follicles, check for ovulation, do a retrieval, insert the fertilized
eggs, and run betas to check for pregnancy. It requires daily shots of
hormones, countless restrictions on activities, and a full-time
commitment to the procedure. To imply that the women simply weren’t
that interested, that motherhood was some sort of whim that they can
easily discard, and that they were only in it to prove they could get
pregnant, or that they only wanted “designer,” perfect babies, is
offensive not just to anyone who has struggled to conceive, but to
women in general.

But it plays perfectly with conservative crowd, who ceaselessly push
the image of the fickle woman who can’t make a decision on her own.
The one who, if left to her own devices would suddenly decide at 7
months pregnant that she was tired of carrying a child and didn’t want
to be a mom, and would go out and get an abortion if it were easily
available so she could have adrink and go to a concert.

Warning at the source: articles about stupid bitches merrily aborting their babies because they weren’t “perfect” or because they didn’t feel like having twins or because they were just stupid, stupid, stupid bitches may cause you to throw things. Make sure your immediate area is free of breakables and pets before reading the whole thing, but do read the whole thing.

Here’s what I don’t get about these assholes who write this bullshit. Doesn’t anybody in the newsroom read this shit and go, erm, dude, I had this, or a friend had this, or a relative had this, and until you’ve had four people’s hands up one of your orifices in a day and a half, until you’ve been shot up with hormones and given drugs that make you drowsy and then been told to cut back on caffeine, until you’re covered in bruises such that you’re wearing long sleeves in July so your bosses won’t think you’re a heroin addict, until your body and your equilibrium are so wrecked it takes you a year to get back to normal afterward, SHUT THE FUCK UP? How does this stuff get through editing? I was told print had standards.

As if IVF is something you do on a whim. Boys, you know that “turn your head and cough” maneuver you like to bitch so much about? Try it every day for six weeks. By nurses you nickname “ham hands” who life you about how you shouldn’t be stressed out because that’s bad for the baby you can’t have. It can cost, with insurance, thousands of dollars, and without? Tens of thousands. The infertility Internet (and I don’t recommend it, mind you, it’s full of pink message boards and lovely but completely insane people) alerted me once to a T-shirt that says “my parents spent my college fund making me.”

(There’s also anAWESOME greeting card that reads “I’m sorry getting pregnant has been so tough for you. Have you thought about becoming a crack whore?” I’ve bought that for friends.)

Is there some horrible woman somewhere who we could cite and shame who merrily aborted her IVF baby because she changed her mind or didn’t like the color of her nail polish that day or some shit? Probably. There are all kinds of assholes out there. But before we glibly dismissed all women as stupid, selfish whores in those news stories, possibly someone needed to speak up and say, um, you have absolutely no idea what you’re talking about.



11 thoughts on “IVF & Abortion: Silly Girls

  1. It is the woman’s choice. Anything else is pure unadulterated filth. I have never attacked anyone of my female acquaintances about having a test tube baby. One was bad. She had incredible genetic defects and still reproduced. The women in her family passed on a genetic defect that caused the females to all have super wide feet and to be extremely tall. Her family raised her on home school.
    When she went to Anchorage, the other students almost destroyed her. “Are you on the basketball team?” “Are you on the swim team?” This continued into her college years. When she walked with me she hunched down to my level. When I flat asked her why we were friends, she replied “The only thing you care about me is that I am smart. You never make any comment on my appearance or my numberless ways that other people ask me about.”
    She is one of the top five smartest people that I have ever known. When she gave up on natural and did the paperwork to adopt, she became pregnant. The tests showed that the child would be just like dear old mom. She knew she had been in hell but she subjected not one but two daughters to her hell.
    If she had aborted, she would have had a chance at a male without the genetic anomaly.
    I stopped talking to her in the late 1980s, I was sorry but I could not stay around to see surgical corrections on children that should have never been born.
    It was her decision and none of my business.
    It was choice she made. I never expressed my opinion but I could not watch both of her daughters grow up as freaks. I just quietly bowed out.

  2. The one who, if left to her own devices would suddenly decide at 7 months pregnant that she was tired of carrying a child and didn’t want to be a mom, and would go out and get an abortion if it were easily available so she could have a drink and go to a concert.
    I keep hearing this particular piece of abortionaria trotted out over and over again. I guess it’s part of the Dr. Tiller oeuvre (pardon the pun), and I’d like to know why no one has ever called BULLSHIT on this? Please, someone, produce an actual female who aborted her 7 month old baby so she could go to a rock concert and drink alcohol. I mean, go to a rock concert so she could fit into her skinny jeans I would understand. But go to a concert so she could drink alcohol? That makes no sense. Why would she care? You don’t drink alcohol when you’re pregnant to protect the fetus. If you’re having an abortion anyway, why would it matter?
    Please let’s nip this crap in the bud before it becomes another “dirty fucking hippies spat on Vietnam veterans” piece of conventional wisdom, if it’s not too late already.

  3. they have to make women to be the worst of humanity so they can more easily subject us to their mindset. CAUSE HOW COULD YOU KILL YOUR BABEE??? it’s a BABEEE! and all babees are innocents sent by GOD.

  4. Wait . . . what? Tall wide-footed females should be aborted? Anyone who got teased about their looks in college should have been aborted? Tall with wide feet = horrible deformity? I’m really short and I have a big nose, I guess I should have been a bloody lump of cells in a bucket.
    Some people have a pretty bourgeois idea of “personal hell”.

  5. The initial article in theDaily Mail begins:
    Dozens of women are aborting babies conceived by IVF because they have changed their minds about motherhood, figures suggest.
    Many are in their teens, twenties and early thirties, implying that numerous abortions were carried out for social reasons, rather than on health grounds.

    Really? How many of the “dozens” of women undergoing IVF are teens?
    How do the figures “suggest” that women have changed their minds about motherhood simply because they abort? Is motherhood a simple binary operation: yes or no? Of course not. Parenthood, especially parenthood initiated through the complex, invasive, and expensive IVF process is a multi-dimensional choice.
    More, the age of the woman is irrelevant when health is part of the equation. Women who participate in IVF almost universally have compromised reproductive health — or IVF would not be the route to motherhood. Could a woman have other health problems, including health problems caused by pregnancy? If so, we should expect that there might be a medical specialty dedicated to such things. We could call it “obstetrics” — but of course, there can be no such specialty because pregnancy is a gift of nature/god/unicorns, and is a blessing to real women.
    Gad, but I hate this kind of smarmy faux journalism.

  6. It’s the Daily Mail. ‘Nuff said. ‘Made up, fictional, bullshit insanity’ is what we call it: they call it ‘journalism’.

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