Generation ‘Dryl

I read this about four times, hoping that in some way, by
clicking on some link, this would take me to The Onion’s home page and that
this whole thing would be a prank. Apparently not.

Not only are parents drugging their kids with Benadryl,
cough syrup and other over-the-counter meds when the kids don’t need them, but
they are doing in because the kids have “become too much to handle.”So many parents have taken to medicating
their kids in this way that doctors could put together a large enough sample to
conduct research on the phenomenon.

According to a study in the Journal of Pediatrics, almost
1,500 cases this abusive act occurred between 2000 and 2008. And those are only
the ones that the researcher found and examined. Something tells me this is
like roaches: see one and you know you’ve got hundreds more hiding.

Parents were likely to use the drugs to keep kids quiet on
long car trips, airplane rides or when they just needed some peace and quiet.
Approximately 14 percent of the kids studied were hurt and 18 of them died as a
result of Mommy or Daddy needing some “down time,” the results showed.

If we ever wondered why kids seem to be more and more fucked
up, this is probably a good place to start.

When you’re shooting your toddler up with cold medicine at
age 2, pumping them full of Ritalin at age 5, slapping anti-depressants on them
by age 10 and so forth, is it any wonder they see medicine as a cure all?

When it comes to real medical needs, I have no problem with
meds. We’ve given The Midget cough syrup before when she’s sick and Mom has
taught classrooms full of kids who really NEED Ritalin to stay focused. Totally

However, as much as I like peace and quiet on a long car
ride, I’m not going to install a Cryogenic chamber in the back of the Civic and
use it to freeze dry my kid until we get to Milwaukee.

Instead, we find things that can help time on the ride to
Gramma’s house pass easier.

We always have a car bag for The Midget: Snacks, water,
books, toys and more go in there. When things get beyond the bag, we’ve got kid
apps the Missus downloaded on to her iPhone. And yes, if The Midget gets tired,
she actually falls asleep.

When she gets too twitchy or loud, we actually tell her to
knock it off and there are consequences for failing to do so. It’s not that

I’ve said this a million times before: Be a fucking parent.

And parenting doesn’t start by pushing a medicinal snooze
button on your kids.

13 thoughts on “Generation ‘Dryl

  1. Jim Dale reading Harry Potter worked pretty well for our car trips. I’ve been meaning to sample the Dolores Umbridge “ahem ahem” for a ring tone.

  2. Decongestant, for young toddlers and infants, on plane trips is not just a matter of keeping them quiet.
    SOME kids get nausea from pressure changes because their ear canals are partly plugged. Having that “quick! grab the barf bag!” experience during landing is not something you want to ever repeat.
    When they get a bit older, you can tell them what to do and avoid the problem.
    And yes, I realize that you’re talking about parents that abuse their kids with chronically medicating them, not where there’s a ‘real’ problem. Do you feel the same way about pacifiers for infants?

  3. The paci thing is something that a lot of folks have gone back and forth on. The Midget had one to help her sleep and keep the ears popping when she was experiencing discomfort. I didn’t have a problem with that at all. Other parents treated us like we were the devil.
    I also have no problems with people who use tools the way they’re supposed to be used. If your kid needs medicine, they should have it. If your kid has asthma and the doctor says “take X if the kid is doing Y or Z,” you’re fine in my book. However, “I just wish little Jimmy would shut the fuck up while I”m driving” isn’t a medical excuse.

  4. I’ve been meaning to sample the Dolores Umbridge “ahem ahem” for a ring tone.
    Oh, God, Umbridge. She gives me more nightmares than Voldemort.
    Grandma used to rub brandy on the kids’ gums when they were teething. I think it numbed them more than it got them tipsy. No such thing as baby Orajel back then.

  5. Hey Jude, no props on the headline? C’mon I put that together special for you after the Favre call out from last week.
    A- My folks did the brandy thing too, because there was no orajel either. Again problem begetting solution is not an issue for me.
    And so it began…

  6. I have an old buddy born about 1952 who quotes her mother: “You were the nicest, quietest children. I just gave you some paregoric and never heard a peep out of you.”

  7. And you know, apropos of nothing in your post but something in the original story, it’s interesting that it was mostly mothers they interviewed. There are plenty of stay-at-home-dad blogs and columnists out there they could have quoted.
    In the graf about the parents whose kid died, they led with the mom’s conviction, though it was dad who got first-degree murder for ordering his wife to shut that fucking brat up.

  8. James McMurtry – Choctaw Bingo
    “Strap them kids in
    Give em a lil bit of vodka
    in a cherry coke…
    …were gonna strap those kids in
    give em a lil’ bit of Benadryl
    were gonna have us a time
    were gonna have us a time

  9. My mother was an RN. As often happens, that means the kids get all sorts of medicines that happen to be available at the time.
    Benadryl was one she used and urged other parents to use.

  10. @ Jude & Athenae – you have no idea how many of my Irish relatives recommended a bit of whisky in the kids’ bedtime bottle. I usually answered, “Just what I need – a toddler with a hangover.”
    (To be fair, a good number of these relatives recommended a bit of whisky for just about everything.)

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