O’Donnell’s Bozo No No

BOZO BOZOBERRY JAM LABEL

It’s a great time to be alive and an American internet smart ass. The crazy can be pretty goddamn funny sometimes. That wacky meatball loving, masturbation denying, teabagging wingnut cupcake, Christine O’Donnell, is dishing up more straight lines than Zeppo Marx, Bud Abbot or Ed McMahon did in a lifetime of second bananahood. Or is that bananadom? Yeah, I know, Zeppo was a fourth banana but he was the straight man.

Now where was I? Not only has the Delaware ditz released a teevee ad that begins with “I’m not a witch” and ends with “I’m you” but her kinfolks have injected the name of a revered American icon into this election cycle.That’s right: Bozo the Clown. Is nothing sacred?

Apparently, Ms. O’Donnell’s brother has been claiming that their father was Bozo in the City of Brotherly Booers.Pater O’Donnell has clarified this pressing matter:

“Who told you I was Bozo?” he wanted to know.

“Your son,” I said, at which point he confirmed that yes, he was Bozo, but not an official, full-time certified Bozo, more of a part-time Bozo.

“To be an official Bozo, you had to go to a special school in Texas,” explained Mr. O’Donnell. He never did. Instead, he was asked to fill-in for the official Bozos whenever they would have to travel out of the Philadelphia area for acting gigs.

“They would leave, I would come in and work for two or three weeks, whatever, until the regular Bozo came back,” Mr. O’Donnell said. “I was the fill-in Bozo.” He worked out of a local station in Jenkintown, Pa., he said, adding that station employees did his make-up and hair. He would also do remote appearances, got to supermarkets, meet kids, sign autographs and ride around in the Bozo Mobile. His son Daniel was his assistant.

Damn, he got to ride around in the Bozo Mobile? That’s almost as good as driving theWiener Mobile. I am so fucking jealous, man. I always wanted to be a backup Bozo. Oops, that came out wrong…

After writing that last paragraph, I paused to pinch myself. We’re talking about the United States Senate: an august, albeit impotent, chamber full of pompous windbags and we’re debating Bozo the Clown? Sounds right to me.

Once again, Firesign Theatre says it best:

Bozos

I wish I could have some scrumptious bozoberry jam right now but I doubt that they still make it, he said, too lazy to use the Google. It may have been removed from the market because it gave diners an overwhelming desire to don white face, rubber noses and mince about in shoes too big even for Shaq.

Repeat after me: mmm, bozoberry jam.

8 thoughts on “O’Donnell’s Bozo No No

  1. montag says:

    If you want some Bozoberry jam, just keep watching O’Donnell’s campaign, because it’s going to be full of the stuff…

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  2. I once worked for a company in the bywater, selling Mardi Gras beads wholesale, who had the license for Bozo the Clown beads. (you can still get them there cause they gotta ton of’em left. You know where I’m talkin’bout)
    I’d definitely rank Larry as at least 8th in most aggressive copyright/trademark enforcement in the country. He don’play wit’Bozo. Wouldn’t be surprised if you get a call even. Really no lie. He even went after Bozo’s BBQ outside of Memphis –who won their case because, well, they were around before he was even born!
    My point is this: perhaps we have yet another scandal of misrepresentation by this Ho of Babylon O’Donnel?
    It is obvious that “they” are working on a Palin/O’Donnel or Palin/Backman ticket. Either way, to me they are all pieces of Handmaiden’s Tail! HA!
    I’ll leave it up to you real bloggers to crack the case. I mean, it turns out that Oxford is a place where Phoenix online school had a “campus”. It just doesn’t get any better than this eh?
    The Mother Ship is close. Shit’s getting far too crazy. Just when I thought Palin was a… what did you call it.. “wingut cupcake”, we get this feudalist tart! That has got to be one of the greatest tags I’ve ever heard. Hahahahahaha whew!
    Get Down! Get Back Up Again!
    But don’t stop.
    hahahahahaha

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  3. uh Clem says:

    My mother was a Bozo-ette at school …

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  4. Snarki, child of Loki says:

    All bozos on this bus? Perhaps, but the teatards reaction to Christ.O’Dumbell is all:
    “Don’t crush that [intellectual] dwarf!”
    Didn’t Larry Harmon try to run for president a time or two?

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  5. Tom Allen says:

    Actually, the Bozo connection is the best thing I’ve read lately about her. I’m a clown at heart (as if that isn’t obvious from some of my posts.) Actually, the witch thing was cool too.
    Jesse Ventura is a joke. Jesse Ventura was once elected governor of Minnesota.
    Ronald Reagan was a joke. Yet somehow a B-movie actor was elected President.
    I’m all for ridicule. I like to think I’m occasionally good at it. But I’d rather be defending good policy than telling other clowns that they’re more clownish than, well, me.

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  6. Uncle Tio says:

    More SUGAR!!!!

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  7. jeffrey says:

    We’re sorry but the position of Back-up Bozo has already been filled by Jarrett Lee.

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  8. Adrastos says:

    Damnitt, Pants. I did a spit take. I also think Backup Bozo would be a helluva band name.

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