Tomorrow: Crack Van

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We will have a crack van for the Iowa caucus results, starting from probably about 7 CST or so. I can promise I’ll put up with two hours of Tweety, but probably not much more than that.

Steve on what everybody’s going to say anyway:

If Mitt Romney wins, he doesn’t really win because that’s what was expected. So the second-place finisher wins. Unless that’s Ron Paul. Ron Paul never wins. Even if he wins.

If Rick Santorum wins, he doesn’t really win because he’ll be next in line for media scrutiny and opponents’ attack ads that will see him sink faster than Newt, Herman and Michelle. So Santorum is better off finishing second – or even a strong third.

If Michelle Bachmann wins, she doesn’t really win because no one will take it seriously. Finishing third would seem like less of a fluke.

Jon Huntsman either wins by not competing in Iowa or loses by not competing in Iowa. But you don’treally win if you don’t compete in Iowa.

If Newt Gingrich wins, he doesn’t really win because he’s been so damaged. And if Newt Gingrich doesn’t win, he also loses because he’s so damaged.

If Rick Perry wins, he doesn’t really win because nobody takes him seriously anymore. He’s really vying for the Santorum-Bachmann second- or third-place finish.

Be here or wish you had been!

A.

7 thoughts on “Tomorrow: Crack Van

  1. pansypoo says:

    i’ll be in ‘Switzerland’ again.

  2. Elspeth Ravenwind says:

    If I can login to the crack van, I’ll be there. 🙂 And be warned, my mondo bottle of Amaretto is damned well full. 😉
    Happy New Year!!!

  3. virgotex says:

    I’ll be a post-workout zombie but I’ll be there

  4. racymind says:

    virgo’s coming to the van to EAT OUR BRAINS!!!

  5. M31 says:

    The Republican nominating process has always been a freakshow (Pat Buchanan? Steve Forbes? LAMARRRR, etc.), but this year it’s the clowncar freakshow rainbow vomit douchebaganza of all time.
    And 50+ million Americans will vote for the winner, no matter what.
    Yeah, I’ll be there tonight, because you guys are about my only chance to remain sane if I think about this any more.

  6. Tommy T says:

    You young whippersnappers know I go to bed at 8:00 – right after my 5:00PM dinner at Luby’s – but I’ll see what’s in the old meth bottle…
    Tommy

  7. Dee Loralei says:

    I’ll be there, but a bit late since our first of the new year Obama2012 meeting is at 6.

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