Okay, Newsweek? Y’all are doing it wrong. Michael Tomasky, you are doing it wrong. This, right here, is doing it wrong:

Okay, look, I get the whole “we’re trying to create a buzz” thing. I get that when you put President Obama on the cover with a rainbow halo and call him our “first gay president” or choose the photo of Michele Bachmann where her eyes look super-crazy you’re doing it for the shock value. Just like Time put the lady with the titty-sucking 12 year old or whatever he was on the cover. Let’s “start a conversation,” let’s be “controversial,” let’s “go viral.” Yeah I get it, y’all are desperate for the links and the Tweets and the Face-space hoo-hah and all that but Jeebus on a fucking Saltine get your damn meme right when you pull this stupid crap.

Look, no one and I mean no one thinks Romney is a wimp. The meme, the fear, the slam, the 411 on Romney is that he is a bully. Not a wimp. A fucking bully who led a gang of miscreants to forcibly cut the hair of a fellow student, who used to dress up as a police officer and pull people over just for shits and giggles. Someone described as “soulless.” A craven opportunist who will say and do anything to get elected because, as we are constantly reminded, it’s “his turn.”

Where did this “wimp” crap come from? This tells me you guys aren’t even paying attention to the kabuki discourse in which you hope to triumph. You get a -2 from the Tennessee judge in the Media Depravity competition.

That is all.