Weekend Question Thread

Via Dan, who wants to know:

If you could commission a painting from this guy, what would you order up?

Me, I’m going with Barack Obama performing a partial-birth abortion of a baby seal fetus carried by the Virgin Mary, but he’ll use anasthesia because there’s no reason to be over the top.


14 thoughts on “Weekend Question Thread

  1. Dan says:

    Thanks for putting this up, A!
    I honest to God haven’t the faintest idea what I’d order – that’s why I was hoping the First Draft folks could provide some inspiration.
    Maybe Obama shooting a marshmallow cannon at a science fair, but instead of a marshmallow cannon it’s a money cannon with “OUR CHILDREN’S FUTURE” in enormous black letters stenciled on it, and instead of a science fair it’s a Constitutional Convention.
    Tom Paine, on his knees, tearfully and futilely tugs at Obama’s pant leg.
    In the background: The dude with the “Get A Brain Morans” sign.

  2. Tom Allen says:

    Just have Obama ordering the drone strike killing of a Pakistani funeral mourner.
    Because, you know, that is actually happening, like it or not.

  3. Jude says:

    There’s nothing I could think of that’s schlockier than what that putz already vomits onto canvas.

  4. adrastos says:

    Joe Biden taking a dump on the constitution?

  5. Kevin says:

    The disciples rolling back the rock on the third day and falling back in wonder as Jayne Mansfield in a gold lame catsuit emerges from the cave…

  6. Sandman says:

    The “artist” himself being sodomized by the reanimated corpse of Bob Ross…

  7. Marc says:

    What Jude said . . . except maybe his other masterpiece, “One Nation Under God”.

  8. MichaelF says:

    A group portrait of the Bull Connor and the segregationist thugs of Birmingham. Should be right up his alley.

  9. Elspeth Ravenwind says:

    Wow, this marginal ‘artist’ doesn’t even reach up to the low-hanging-talent fruit of “Thomas Kinkaide: painter of crap”… How nauseating. And really, how is ANYTHING by Mapplethorpe possibly MORE offensive than this teawad’s wet dream on canvas??!!?
    So, does he have a rendition of “Venus rising from the foam” celebrating Santorum?

  10. racymind says:

    Well, if you have ever heard Bill Hicks’ routine with the line “Rush Limbaugh is a Scat Muncher”, you’d know how I’d get him to portray Rush, Reagan, Barbara Bush, and a bathtub.

  11. pansypoo says:

    grover norquist as supreme being and ronnie raygun + GWB as his minions.

  12. liprap says:

    That actually beats Thomas Kinkaid in the godawful schlock department. Wow.
    Gimme a universal Mississippi woman as Brunhilde riding with other women of other states to vanquish those who would raise personhood amendments as tattered, gaudy banners over their sorry states, please, “maestro.” A refusal to comply will cause me to take up my glassblowing pipes again…specifically to reheat the very tips in a 2000+ degree furnace and brand you with them.

  13. mquirk says:

    I’d like to see a painting of Ronnie R. standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at him. Why am I the only one who has that dream?

  14. Edmilson says:

    Posted on Well, wdhydaaa know- I was wondering who the other person that bought Video Jack back in the day was, and I’m suddenly confronted with the inescapable knowledge that there were TWO other someones!

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