Via Dan, who wants to know:
If you could commission a painting from this guy, what would you order up?
Me, I’m going with Barack Obama performing a partial-birth abortion of a baby seal fetus carried by the Virgin Mary, but he’ll use anasthesia because there’s no reason to be over the top.
A.
Thanks for putting this up, A!
I honest to God haven’t the faintest idea what I’d order – that’s why I was hoping the First Draft folks could provide some inspiration.
Maybe Obama shooting a marshmallow cannon at a science fair, but instead of a marshmallow cannon it’s a money cannon with “OUR CHILDREN’S FUTURE” in enormous black letters stenciled on it, and instead of a science fair it’s a Constitutional Convention.
Tom Paine, on his knees, tearfully and futilely tugs at Obama’s pant leg.
In the background: The dude with the “Get A Brain Morans” sign.
Just have Obama ordering the drone strike killing of a Pakistani funeral mourner.
Because, you know, that is actually happening, like it or not.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/06/world/asia/us-drone-strikes-are-said-to-target-rescuers.html?_r=2
There’s nothing I could think of that’s schlockier than what that putz already vomits onto canvas.
Joe Biden taking a dump on the constitution?
The disciples rolling back the rock on the third day and falling back in wonder as Jayne Mansfield in a gold lame catsuit emerges from the cave…
The “artist” himself being sodomized by the reanimated corpse of Bob Ross…
What Jude said . . . except maybe his other masterpiece, “One Nation Under God”.
A group portrait of the Bull Connor and the segregationist thugs of Birmingham. Should be right up his alley.
Wow, this marginal ‘artist’ doesn’t even reach up to the low-hanging-talent fruit of “Thomas Kinkaide: painter of crap”… How nauseating. And really, how is ANYTHING by Mapplethorpe possibly MORE offensive than this teawad’s wet dream on canvas??!!?
So, does he have a rendition of “Venus rising from the foam” celebrating Santorum?
Well, if you have ever heard Bill Hicks’ routine with the line “Rush Limbaugh is a Scat Muncher”, you’d know how I’d get him to portray Rush, Reagan, Barbara Bush, and a bathtub.
grover norquist as supreme being and ronnie raygun + GWB as his minions.
That actually beats Thomas Kinkaid in the godawful schlock department. Wow.
Gimme a universal Mississippi woman as Brunhilde riding with other women of other states to vanquish those who would raise personhood amendments as tattered, gaudy banners over their sorry states, please, “maestro.” A refusal to comply will cause me to take up my glassblowing pipes again…specifically to reheat the very tips in a 2000+ degree furnace and brand you with them.
I’d like to see a painting of Ronnie R. standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at him. Why am I the only one who has that dream?
Posted on Well, wdhydaaa know- I was wondering who the other person that bought Video Jack back in the day was, and I’m suddenly confronted with the inescapable knowledge that there were TWO other someones!