Weekend Question Thread

Via Dan, who wants to know:

If you could commission a painting from this guy, what would you order up?

Me, I’m going with Barack Obama performing a partial-birth abortion of a baby seal fetus carried by the Virgin Mary, but he’ll use anasthesia because there’s no reason to be over the top.

A.

14 thoughts on “Weekend Question Thread

  1. Dan says:

    Thanks for putting this up, A!
    I honest to God haven’t the faintest idea what I’d order – that’s why I was hoping the First Draft folks could provide some inspiration.
    Maybe Obama shooting a marshmallow cannon at a science fair, but instead of a marshmallow cannon it’s a money cannon with “OUR CHILDREN’S FUTURE” in enormous black letters stenciled on it, and instead of a science fair it’s a Constitutional Convention.
    Tom Paine, on his knees, tearfully and futilely tugs at Obama’s pant leg.
    In the background: The dude with the “Get A Brain Morans” sign.

  2. Tom Allen says:

    Just have Obama ordering the drone strike killing of a Pakistani funeral mourner.
    Because, you know, that is actually happening, like it or not.
    http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/06/world/asia/us-drone-strikes-are-said-to-target-rescuers.html?_r=2

  3. Jude says:

    There’s nothing I could think of that’s schlockier than what that putz already vomits onto canvas.

  4. adrastos says:

    Joe Biden taking a dump on the constitution?

  5. Kevin says:

    The disciples rolling back the rock on the third day and falling back in wonder as Jayne Mansfield in a gold lame catsuit emerges from the cave…

  6. Sandman says:

    The “artist” himself being sodomized by the reanimated corpse of Bob Ross…

  7. Marc says:

    What Jude said . . . except maybe his other masterpiece, “One Nation Under God”.

  8. MichaelF says:

    A group portrait of the Bull Connor and the segregationist thugs of Birmingham. Should be right up his alley.

  9. Elspeth Ravenwind says:

    Wow, this marginal ‘artist’ doesn’t even reach up to the low-hanging-talent fruit of “Thomas Kinkaide: painter of crap”… How nauseating. And really, how is ANYTHING by Mapplethorpe possibly MORE offensive than this teawad’s wet dream on canvas??!!?
    So, does he have a rendition of “Venus rising from the foam” celebrating Santorum?

  10. racymind says:

    Well, if you have ever heard Bill Hicks’ routine with the line “Rush Limbaugh is a Scat Muncher”, you’d know how I’d get him to portray Rush, Reagan, Barbara Bush, and a bathtub.

  11. pansypoo says:

    grover norquist as supreme being and ronnie raygun + GWB as his minions.

  12. liprap says:

    That actually beats Thomas Kinkaid in the godawful schlock department. Wow.
    Gimme a universal Mississippi woman as Brunhilde riding with other women of other states to vanquish those who would raise personhood amendments as tattered, gaudy banners over their sorry states, please, “maestro.” A refusal to comply will cause me to take up my glassblowing pipes again…specifically to reheat the very tips in a 2000+ degree furnace and brand you with them.

  13. mquirk says:

    I’d like to see a painting of Ronnie R. standing in sort of sun-god robes on a pyramid with a thousand naked women screaming and throwing little pickles at him. Why am I the only one who has that dream?

  14. Edmilson says:

    Posted on Well, wdhydaaa know- I was wondering who the other person that bought Video Jack back in the day was, and I’m suddenly confronted with the inescapable knowledge that there were TWO other someones!

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