Bad Mommy Magazine

Oh for fuck’s sake:

In the Bay Area, the initiation rate of breast-feeding — how many moms are breast-feeding when they leave the hospital — is 95 percent, according to Nancy Held, a lactation consultant, registered nurse and vice president of Day One Centers, which has locations in Palo Alto and Walnut Creek.

“That’s very high,” says Held, who was interviewed by John Sasaki of KTVU for a report on reaction to the Time cover. “Then we have people going back to work and pumping and things drop off.”

Held says the thought of anyone breast-feeding for a year makes her happy. Everyone hears stories about women who are still breast-feeding their 5-year-olds, but that is hardly the norm, she says.

“I think to be clear, the image was used by Time magazine for shock value,” Held says. “Dr. Sears has been around for 20 years, so there’s nothing new about him. Parents have become much more anxious in the past 10 years, so our job is to support them and give them the confidence that only they can decide what’s right for their baby.”

Emphasis mine. Is there any lazier journalism on earth than a story about reaction to a magazine cover? Seriously? Nobody got shot in your coverage area that day? Not even stabbed? There must have been a purse-snatching SOMEWHERE. Come on.

Look, childless whore here, and I could not be less interested in debating with anyone the Latest Parenting Trend Ruining Our Youth. Attach your child to your boob until the kid is in high school. Go live in a hippie commune and let everybody breastfeed each others’ kids and sleep in one big pile like Labrador puppies. Feed your kid nothing but formula until he’s old enough for KFC and Red Bull. I have opinions about vaccination, because I don’t want to get WHOOPING COUGH IN THE YEAR 2012, but it’s not a public health issue to me if you let your toddler ride the subway or lick every doorknob in existence or watch Cinemax After Dark. If I wanted to parent your kid, I’d have given birth to him.

What does piss me off is media bullshit designed to create “controversy” and pit women against each other. The headline on this article might as well have been PLEASE FIGHT ABOUT THIS AT YOUR BOOK CLUB WITH THAT ONE NEIGHBOR WHO WEARS HEMP HAIR EXTENSIONS, it’s such blatant mommy-trolling.

I may not have child-critters of my own, but I have to imagine that life for those with them isn’t easy right now. The economy’s “recovery” is mostly for people who weren’t in danger of missing meals anyway, people’s tap water is catching on fire, food costs more than it ever has, gas prices are so scary I have to close my eyes when I fill up the tank, everyone’s bosses seem fixed on making their work lives miserable in increasingly tiny and irritating ways, the weather is just weird this year, and that’s before you send the kids to schools that have holes in the roofs and chains on the doors.

Between the commute and the orthodontists’ bills you’re stressed out and freaked out, and what you thought was a college fund now looks more like a week’s worth of book fees. Every time you turn on the news you wonder if the little nipper’s even gonna have safe air to breathe growing up, and though you stopped paying attention to math in third grade, he needs your help with his homework. Meanwhile we have the stupidest Congress on the planet passing laws that say you, with the lady parts, ew, so if you want to have your daughter vaccinated against HPV you have to first listen to some scold on TV call her a whore.

With all of that going on, what we really need to do is have a “controversy” over how, when and where some chick breastfeeds, so that we can all point fingers at each other and say you, other mom, you suck. You suck for working or staying home, you suck for “helicoptering” over your children or letting them run wild, you suck for giving them birth control or keeping it from them, you suck for everything you’re doing and everything you’re not doing, you suck at this all the time.

As if we all — those with children, those without, those working, those staying home, those breastfeeding, those not — don’t already feel like we’re losing and failing. As if we’re not all worried about our lives being okay. As if we’re not all doing the best we can.

A.

10 thoughts on “Bad Mommy Magazine

  1. someofparts says:

    great post

  2. noblejoanie says:

    Best writing on the internet right here.

  3. Henchwoman says:

    Love this post. It is just part and parcel of the “war on women” we’ve seen lately.
    BTW, a new book called “Breasts” delves extensively into them, including toxins in breast milk:http://mammalssuck.blogspot.com/2012/05/canary-in-coal-mine-breasts-lactation.html
    Both my kids were raised in the 60s and drank cow’s milk exclusively; I was a working mother and didn’t have much milk anyway. None of the issues of food allergies, asthma, or anything else which seem to plague kids these days–their immune systems were and are still terrific–they got all their shots, too–as is my immune system, and I was also raised on the bottle.
    The extremists trying to push their agendas can go suck air.

  4. cwaltz says:

    Thank you! It’s nice to know I’m not alone. This whole mommy/women war thing is a big ol’ divisive game and I refuse to play. Work, don’t work, breast feed, don’t breast feed, homeschool, don’t homeschool, have multiple children, don’t have any kids…I refuse to criticize other women who make different decisions then I made simply so that the media can report on it rather than report on the fact that our country is going to heck in a handbasket and we don’t have a single leader that appears to give two gosh darns.

  5. MapleStreet says:

    Anything to increase the insecurity of parents having to make a multitude of decisions without any clear compass to what is “right” or “best.”
    And @Southern – I sure hope this is a joke that has taken pains to look realistic. He’s “gay” because he allowed that there are homosexuals out there? 1) The gross lack of logic , in and of itself, shows bias, sensationalism, etc. to the point of being so flagrant as to show intent. 2) Unfortunately, in the comments sections of various news media, I’ve seen the same “trick” used to silence viewpoints. If you allow for civil unions, then you’re obviously gay. If someone is arrested and you say that accused isn’t convicted, you’re accused of being an accomplice. etc.

  6. Not to be outdone in the “shock value” department, according to my Twitter feed this is the new cover of Newsweek, declaring Obama the first “gay” president. Adding insult to injury, the cover story is by Andrew Sullivan.
    So clearly we’re in a race to the bottom here. I predict another Tea Party cover just around the corner …

  7. Satchel says:

    What does piss me off is media bullshit designed to create “controversy” and pit women against each other. The headline on this article might as well have been PLEASE FIGHT ABOUT THIS AT YOUR BOOK CLUB WITH THAT ONE NEIGHBOR WHO WEARS HEMP HAIR EXTENSIONS, it’s such blatant mommy-trolling.
    ::: applause :::
    Another entry in the encyclopedic “WOMEN: UR DOIN IT RONG.”

  8. aimai says:

    As someone who is about to have to pay 6000 dollars for my child’s braces, braces I never had to have, I hear ya. I’m totally opposed to cosmetic dentistry for cosmetic reasons but my poor kid has some really weird teeth and she really has to have it.
    I’m so far out of the mommy wars its almost ludicrous. People are under unbelievable pressure–the idea that any number of America’s massively overworked and overinsulted mothers has time to breast feed in person is just shockingly naieve. Most women are working so hard, from the first weeks after the birth of their child–C section or Vag–that they barely see that kid. The idea that more than one or two have the luxury to breast feed in person an older child is absurd. Its like trolling the Freak Show at a travelling Circus and doing a news story about the trend in Bearded Ladies.
    aimai

  9. pansypoo says:

    as i have no spawn also, i am out.
    but i do not want them.

  10. Dan says:

    I’ve been following all this mommy war stuff lately kind of casually. But from where I sit (here on the computer typing out blog comments. Happy Mothers Day, significant women in my life! Get your own damn breakfast can’t you see I’m busy?) it seems like there are a lot of women getting baited by what seems like garden variety trolling.
    I was trying to think of a good tweet to snark on it about, something along the lines of starting a magazine called “You’re an idiot and everything you do is wrong,” because there seems to be a real market for content that serves no other purpose but to throw a metaphorical M80 into the room and then watch the hilarious reactions.
    I know people are terribly sensitive about parenting issues because raising your kids so that they don’t grow up and join Team Jerk is one of the most important things we do. No one wants to contemplate screwing it up. But for God’s sake don’t reward assholes by giving them a big reaction. The freakout over the Time cover doesn’t do anything but guarantee another exciting installment in the series. Stay tuned!

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